Row Boy

I feel like I haven't posted much about my first born lately. I figured I ought to write about all his wonderful bits to keep me centered on all the things that make Rowan a sweet, bright little boy instead of the age-related craze that comes from being two. 

I keep a running list in my journal of cute things these two babes of ours do and here are some favorites of mine for Rowboat from the last few weeks. 

*Sel has been reading Rowan the animated Book of Mormon at bedtime. Row really loves Alma and Jesus and will say "Like him! Like him!" then give them a kiss. He also always points out the Laminates wear diapers (loincloths).

*He loves running. I bet he could do cross-country or a kiddie 1-mile race soon. 

 We took him to the track the other night and he did awesome! He had to pump his little legs so much more than we did which made me respect him as a baby athlete more than I already did.

* He loves wrestling with Sel lately. I need to get a picture of his wrestling stance because it's perfection on two little legs.

* He knows all his friends AND their moms names. He talks constantly about his friend Isaac's mom, Becky, who once rescued him from a falling bike at the park.

* One of my favorite prayers he gave a few weeks ago " Thank you for Jesus. Thank you for zoo. Bless sister and mommy. Thank you a mommy. Thank you a pinky book. Thank you a minion shirt. Thank you a daddy and mommy and sister. Thank you a blank. Thank you a owies. Thank you a mommy and daddy and sister and mimi and papa. Thank you a stars. Thank you a hammer. Thank you a Piper and Lincoln and Valerie. Bless oats and mommy and sister. Bless Jesus. Thank you a toys. Please bless toys. Please bless no bad dreams. Name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!

* He's become SO brave! He went through a stage where he was suddenly afraid of everything, especially going down slides. We went to a free carnival the other weekend and he climbed up a GIANT wall (not the one I took a picture of here) and went down a big slippery slide without hesitation. He will now climb any and all ladders at the park and is pretty good at it until I start to panic about him falling.

* He asks to "cuddle mommy" all the time now when he wants to avoid bedtime. It's so sweet that it's hard to turn him down on such a request.

 * He loves when we tell him popular oral stories. His favs that he requests almost every nap and bedtime are Red Riding Hood and Cookie Man (Gingerbread man)

* When we tell him to watch for cars, he will start pointing to parked ones saying "there's one! There's one!"

* He gets SO excited when Mimi or Papa come home. He will scream, run around in circles and bang on the glass door that leads to the garage. (We are staying with my parents for a month while Sel does an away rotation here at OSU). He will also say sadly throughout the day "Papa's at work." Or "Mimi's at work" 

* When new people ask him his name, he now responds with his full name "Rowan Michael Warden" and then will laugh at the end. He says each part of his name slowly and deliberately and it's adorable. 

* I love his hair. We've gotten three compliments this week alone on his "perfect" hair. One of them said it was like Fred from Scooby Doo. 

* He is obsessed with his cousins. We went to Philly last week to visit his cousin Brian Jr. who he has been taking about eating donuts with for ages. He adored him and asked if we could bring him to Mimi and Papa's. He also talks about visiting Macy in Florida with rides and Princess and Stella for Christmas with Cookie Houses (Gingerbread houses)

Lyra Rose 3 months

Time is going by so quickly! Lyra gets cuter every day and her cheeks get more luscious. Let's talk about those cheeks. Rowan got a little chunky, but nothing like Lyra. I just want to munch on her cheeks alllll day. She's perfectly squishy and delicious. I'm not sure her current weight, but she sure isn't light. We get comments the most about the cheeks, followed by disbelief that she's as young as she is when she looks so substantial. She's stretching out of her 6 month clothes already 😭 I dont know why, but I assumed she would follow a more average growth trend than her brother did. Dumb. Now most of her seasonal clothes don't match up with her ever growing baby bod. Bless the beauties who donated clothes to the Lyra Rose foundation so she has some stylish options 

She's sweet as can be. Row always had to be held looking out at the world, whereas she is content to be carried around snuggled up against me😍 She has the most adorable smile and her laugh is hysterical. It's like a breathy giggle. She cries and laughs with pauses between each. Laugh. Silence. Laugh.

Lyra cries very rarely. She's still such a happy thing. When she does cry, it's frightening. Like I said, she'll be silent for a few seconds then start screaming. Right when you think it's done, the loudest is yet to come. Rowan dropped a shampoo bottle on her the other night, which understandably made her cry. She did her momentary stop then screamed again right when he was bending over giving her an apology hug. It surprised Row so badly that he started crying and yelled in her face, which led to a cascade of screaming at one another through angry tears. It was great. We haven't had too many moments like those but I have a feeling yelling at one another will only increase in frequency over the years. Or maybe we will hit the sibling jackpot and they will never, ever fight. 

She is still a beautiful sleeper. She almost always logs 8+ hours (8pm-4am), but does a solid 10 most nights. The only hiccup is that she is done, done done for the day around 8:00pm. She simply cannot make it any later. It makes it tricky with bedtime because that's usually when I am trying to wrangle Row into pajamas and attempting to read him a bedtime story. Bless Sel for being the best husband/dad ever. He usually takes over after bathtime so I can nurse Lyra to bed. I feel really blessed we've had our kids when we have during med school. The summer between year 1 and 2 was perfect to have Sel around with Row and 4th year has lent us his helping hands more than we would have any other year.

I love nicknames. It's another form of love language for me to give someone a nickname. I know some people hate them, but I can't help it. Lyra is commonly known as Ly Ly around here or Little L (which used to be my nickname around my grandma L). It's so cute to hear Rowan call her LyLy. 

She strong. Rowan was too, but she's already ahead of where he was. She can hold her head up really well and can roll from tummy to back and is scary close to turning from back to tummy. She likes to sleep with her head to the side which I think is giving her an advantage that way. I am just so far from ready for her to think about any movement past what she does right now. Why can't they just stay squishy and immobile for awhile? We are so in trouble when s

People always ask where we got her name. We usually say it's a constellation, which is true. There is a bit more to the story which she might hate me for somewhere down the road. When I was an HP fanatic(when my 12-year-old self whole heartedly belived Hogwarts was real) I realized JK had pulled a lot of names from constellations (Sirius, Draco, etc). I wrote in a character to the series who was everything I wish I was. I found the constellation Lyra and decided it was perfect for my character. I get a little weird talking about it because it takes geeky to the whole next level (though liking HP is actually cool since all things nerdy are now awesome by today's standards). It makes me happy thinking my daughter is already better in every way than my character is. Rose was my great-grandma's name who was beautiful, smart (one of the very few woman of her generation to get a college degree), loving, and faithful. A little bit more than people care to hear when they ask about her name, so constellation it is. 

She loves to have her head rubbed while she nurses still. It's my favorite. Her eyes roll back and she acts like nothing in the whole world could be better than having her fuzzy head rubbed. She is extra tender when she's nursing. She HAS to be touching me. She will stroke my chest or hand, but especially loves holding onto one of my fingers. She's the definition of precious 

Watching TV with Row

I love this little girl so very much! I had a moment the other day on the outdoor track remembering a phone call to OB. I was 39 weeks and hadn't felt her move for a long time. While walking around the track trying to get her to move, I started crying thinking about losing her. She was obviously totally fine, but I realized then and even more so now how desperately I needed her in my life. I remember being such an idiot and worrying about whether I would love her as much as Rowan (pretty common parent fear for a second). I love her just as much as I love her big bro.  It's like Sel's grandma has said, "each baby comes with their own love". 

Here's to another month of Lyra love! 

She loves to be carried around like this

Swinging in one of my outfits from infancy. She makes it look way better than I did. 

Ugh I thought she might like a change of pace than the usual stroller. Rowan then insisted on riding in the stroller instead of riding his bike. After fifteen minutes of changing everything up, Rowan decided he would rather run. That skirt is my favorite of all time though

Squish

Holding hands during our bedtime story 

At the Fulton County Fair with Papa. He's a baby pro

She loves eating her fingers and sometimes will gag herself with them

All the little kids at the gym daycare thought she was a baby doll and asked to play with her. I think it's the dress because it is SO cute! It's an 18-month one we inherited from a friend. I know she'll slim out as she gets older and can hopefully wear it again. 

She loved the Halloween outfit Grandma DeeDee sent her

I needed somewhere to set her after Row ran into this dumb balance beam at the park that he ALWAYS runs into. She did awesome at holding herself up and loved the swing. 

BBG/Treat Streak

I was supposed to take a "sweaty selfie" after my workout, but was rushed to get a shower at the gym in before we went to a playdate so I uploaded a showered nursing pic instead. 

16 DAYS! I've made it 16 days and only had three tiny, questionable breaks to my streak. I licked the frosting off of my finger from a piece of cake I gave to Rowan, one solitary rolo from a friend, and a very small piece of zucchini bread. I know that sounds a little crazy to care about and I really don't which is why I've decided to not count them as having broken my successful days in a row.  The true test of my newly found self-control came in resisting treats at a church event (which there are always delicious things there) and in refusing a free Baskin Robbins ice-cream cone. I didn't feel deprived, just relived I already knew the answer to the question of whether I would eat those things or how much of those things I would eat. I still feel like I need to clean up other parts of my diet, but I feel like I have a healthy mindset at least. Sel and I decided that we can earn a treat token every 30 days of clean eating and have a splurge. We are going to Philly in a few weeks to visit our bro and sis-in-law who introduced us to the best donuts in the entire universe. I kid you not, these donuts are from another world. So you know I'll be getting on one of those babies. I feel better since we started doing this. I finally feel confident in my ability to have control over my eating and my life. It doesn't feel like we are doing something extreme that I won't be able to maintain. I just feel accomplished and grateful.
I'd seen a few friends of mine talking about Bikini Body Guide and how much they loved it. I was a little skeptical because I am of essentially everything. I tried to read about it online, but not much was there unless you bought the Ebook. Luckily I found a free 7-day trial and I LOVE it! I get it now. BBG is amazing! I've only had it on my phone since Thursday and I feel like I can already tell a difference.
The first day I decided to do a LISS (Low Intensity Steady State) workout plus the ab workout. The creator of BBG outlines a workout a day instead of doubling up. I was an idiot. I was DYING during the ab workout. I could barely finish the last circuit, but I did it! It feels so empowering. As I mentioned, I hesitated to buy this because I felt I could do it on my own. We've been able to go back to the gym recently which is a gigantic help, but this program pushes me way past what I would on my own. I did the HIIT workout today (High Intensity Interval Training) and I would have probably stopped halfway through on my own and considered it a decent workout.
My one thing I don't love is the meal plan. She's Australian so everything is written in the metric system and she recommends eating a lot of tuna. yuuuck. I love salads and have been downing them daily lately.
Besides the workouts (which I already adore) I really love the mentality Kayla pushes. You measure your progress primarily by taking pictures every four weeks instead of just relying on the scale. There is a big community of women who all support and cheer on one another. It feels real opposed to some of the other shallow, superficial views of health out there.

This was brussel sprouts, cabbage, kale, carrots and some cashews. I made a dressing with ginger, lemon and oil. It took both Sel and I a hundred years to eat it. 

I have been eating this salad for four days in a row. I crave it right now like no other. I couldn't even wait to take a dumb picture of it before I started in on it. 

HOLLA! Sixteen days!

The Treat Streak

I am a notorious treat addict. I feel like it has ruled my life for the past few years and I've hated it. For awhile, I thought maybe my love of chocolate made me endearing the way it does my adorable grandmother. The thing is, my grandma weighs maybe 80 lbs soaking wet and solely eats chocolate whereas I'm rockin my all time high in weight and eat plenty other than chocolate.When I say " I have a crazy sweet tooth" people are like, "yeeeah. We can tell".

Talking about weight is so awkward and painful. Or at least it is when there is actual weight to talk about. I went around in high school calling most of the student body fat to their faces then laughing hysterically about it. I could do that because everyone looked like they did cross-fit 8 hours a day while popping kale like candy. (Why is kale somehow the definition of healthy? I'll see things at the store touting it's undeniable magical power of having kale in it and daring you to chose obesity over kale). Joking about weight lately is more a way to somehow acknowledge to those I'm talking to that I know I'm chubby right now and they don't need to secretly wonder whether I realize my need to get it together.

It's not just the baby weight thing. I had a similar pattern with Rowan where I gained a very healthy, low amount during the pregnancy while exercising and mostly eating healthfully then BAM! Nursing starts and I devour everything in sight. While most people are off shedding their baby weight, I guess my thing is to not only NOT lose weight, but to gain it. I could sit around blaming hormones and all that jazz, but the undeniable fact is I've needed to clean up my eating act for awhile now. I've been lucky to love exercise for most of my life. I've been unlucky enough to love sweets and lack any semblance of self-control. The writing has been on the wall for awhile now and birthing a second child has made it start flashing in giant neon letters. I've always felt a bit of a fraud because I love all things nutrition. I love reading anything there is on it, watching every documentary available, scouring health blogs and I do really love munching on most things "healthy". My passions tend to not line up with how I look which makes me feel like I can't really talk about it. No longer! This post is to declare my dedication.

I went to visit my parents last week and essentially ate an entire carton of ice-cream and two chocolate bars within two days. On the way home, I called Sel and told him how depressed I was that I lacked all self-control. I told him I felt doomed to a life of being over-weight and why try to avoid it anyway. Bless Sel's believing, motivational heart. He gave me his best inspirational pep talk and made me realize the whole thing about being healthy is a constant, life-long battle and one worth fighting. I deserve to be healthy. I owe it to my family and myself to be the healthiest I can. I committed myself to going on a "treat streak" 7 days ago and have yet to put a sugary morsel in my mouth. I'm mostly amazed that I made it a week already. I honestly don't think I've EVER gone that long for the last two years. I don't plan to forever swear off treats, but to have one on ACTUAL celebrations. Instead of ice-cream because it's a Tuesday! Yay! How about ice-cream for an anniversary or a birthday? And maybe just one bowl instead of seven on said celebration? I am just so tired of being ruled over by an inanimate object. I'll be documenting some things over here about this whole journey to keep me accountable and because I enjoy writing. SO if you love me, keep that delicious chocolate to yourself or mail it to my grandma.

Lyra Rose 2-Months

Little Lyra (who is not so very little) is two months old! 

She is a dream baby! I worry that talking about it too much will jinx this wonderful thing we have going right now. 

Lyra sleeps about 8-9 hours a night! I worship her for this. It is the number one thing that can make all other things either horrible or marvelous. I know that because I didn't sleep for two years with Rowan and have slept better the past few weeks than I have in my entire parenting career. I know that four month sleep regression is staring me down from over yonder, but I'm just going to enjoy the blessing of my sleeping beauty while I can. She doesn't really take long naps like she used to.her longest nap clocks in around an hour if we are in the car. Speaking of the car, she is happy as can be back there until the car stops moving. Ideal for highway driving, not so great for all those annoying stop lights and stop signs around town. 

Lyra weighed in at 14 lbs 1 oz at her appointment (93%) and 24.5 inches (98%) for height. I looked back at Row's stats and he was the same weight, but 1.5 inches longer. She packs it in to that smaller, adorably chunky package. I loooooove chubby babies. LOVE them! I remember longing for the times when I could really squish Row without fear of breaking him and not really feeling like that happened until around 5 months. I squish and snuggle Lyra as much as I possibly can. She's just so substantial! I adore her little rolls, which are everywhere. 

She is such a mellow, delightful little thing. She has really started to smile and interact with us lately. Her smile is so enchanting! Her eyes sparkle and her little tongue will quiver because she can't contain how happy she is. My only wish is that I had all day to just chat with her smiling face and squish her chunky self.

I've been giving a lot of thought to describing what it is like having two. Is it harder? Yes and no. I felt so overwhelmed and stressed and tired with Rowan. The only standard of parenting I had to measure with was what it was like to have one child. It was certainly not easy, but now having the experience and perspective I have gained over the past two months makes it seem as if it would be. Does that make sense? It's similar to how I look back at many points in my life. Being a teenager seemed really tough while living it, but if I could go back and do high school as the person I am now, it would be a whole different experience. It would seem easy, breezy beautiful and I would make amazing choices opposed to some of the really dumb ones I made. Similarly, I would parent my one with less stress and would appreciate the complete devotion I could pay my one little bambino. 

Lyra loves watching Rowan. I can hardly wait until they can really start to interact with one another. He is always trying to feed her food which is both adorable and horrible. Luckily, I've been diligent enough so far to keep him from killing her in any form. It gets really close some days though to me not succeeding at that daily task. 

She soothes so easily and is content to do whatever we really need her to do. After her shots, she cried really hard which is heartbreaking, but she completely stopped crying the second I picked her up. She also does this funny pre-cry face and noise. I'm usually able to attend to her before she really ramps up to full on cry mode, but the timed in haven't she sometimes just falls asleep within 60 seconds. I've noticed the times she gets the most fussy is when she's tired. I would start being more structured with naps, but right now we are catering to our demanding child since she seems relatively happy going along with the flow. 

Lyra seems like she will have blue eyes...but maybe green! The top hair of her head fell out and has now grown back to match the length of the hair she was born with.  I love petting her fuzzy crew cut. She also loves when I pet her head when I'm nursing her. Her eyes will roll back and she'll contentedly fall fast asleep. Every time I find myself wondering about how she will look I pretend to assign a preference when really I realize I will adore whatever she looks like simply because it will be her look. Except if she's s ginger. We will probably send her back if she try's to pull that kind of shennangins on us. I always pictured a bunch of kids will all different combinations of hair and eye color so maybe we will get the best of all worlds. Even an Asian looking baby!

Her sad face is pretty spectacular 

CHEEKS

She loves her dad

Pj Love party 

Five Years

Five years sounds so weighty, significant. Five years used to sound like an incredible stretch of time. Important accomplishments were measured out in four-year cycles for a while. High school amounted to four years of self-discovery, growth, and accomplishment. College was another group of milestones and life-long memories bundled into four years. Post college has sort of been a jumbled terrain of unrecognizable measurements. Five years has gone by in the blink of an eye while also taking a life-time. I feel like I've known and loved Sel my entire life. He's somehow woven into all those self-defining moments I had prior to ever laying eyes on his handsome face. 

I can't truly explain it, so I won't try. I'll simply say for time and all eternity has not only given me a glimpse in the endless reflections of ourselves into the future, but it has somehow given me a renewed image of my past selves. 

Five years has brought us to an entirely different stage of life than where we started. Our first two years were essentially an extension of our college courtship. We were young without realizing we were. Those first two years were full of blissful ignorance to the outside world. It truly felt like playing "house". I treasure those two years and sometimes find myself comparing the role I got to play then to now and missing it a little bit. Since then we've made a home 1,600 miles away from where we started and created two beautiful children together. I've worked three different jobs since we've wed and Sel has completed 3/4's of a grueling graduate program. 

We got to go on a date last week courtesy of my mother. She watched Rowan and little Lyra tagged along with us for dinner. I got to really look at Sel. Look him straight in the face without a toddler needing our attention, a list of chores tugging at my mind, or the never ending call of studying. I teared up as I told him how grateful I was for all he does. This life-long partnership as parents is very different from the one we started on as just an us. It's weighty, significant. It often takes time away from one another while simultaneously bringing us closer than we ever were before. 

Seeing Sel be a father is sweeter than I pictured it. He adores our children. He is the one person I know will appreciate all the cute things that were said and done by our littles. He spends more energy and time than he has connecting with them. 

There is such camaraderie born in raising children. To sit next to one another after a full day of tantrums, laughter, diapers, disciplining, and play feeling both fulfilled and exhausted brings a bond I couldn't have previously understood. 

People used to say marriage is hard. I would balk at their words, particularly during those two rose-colored years of youthful freedom. It takes real work right now to spend time connecting on a level outside of life necessity providers. Those precious moments we do get though, are richer, more appreciated, and filled with a deeper love. The five year symbol is wood which feels fitting. We planted tender seeds five years ago and have worked together to nurture our family tree. The roots branched out deeply those first few years, giving us a strong system of understanding and love to sprout our family tree from. 

I am so grateful for the past five years. I feel as if Sel started off pretty ahead of the curve in most life aspects, but I had a lot of growing to do. I've come to a place in life where I feel so comfortable and confident in who I am. I'm able to judge a little less and love a lot more all because I have a man who tells me everyday how I am of infinite worth. Sel has been my constant, steadying hand leading me to who he always saw me as. I can't imagine who he will help me become in another five years. I'm grateful for marriage, I'm grateful for love, and I'm most grateful for Sel. 

Happy Five Years.