36 Weeks Pregante

Have you watched the video yet where the guy reads a bunch of online questions about pregnancy? I laugh until I can't breath every single time. It has over 28 million views, so I hope you're one of those privileged millions to have laughed about it. If not, join us in the cool kids club https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EShUeudtaFg 

The misspelling in today's title is brought to you from said video. 

Oh my. I'm so done. I still have FIVE weeks left. I try not to focus on the negative, but I've done this twice now and I'm terrified of the next few weeks. I know what's ahead. Every day is about a week long. I also remain incredibly bitter about all those women who get to have babies between 38-40 weeks without being induced. I love you in the way that I love all mankind, but I also despise you. Gah. I can't get over it. Can you even imagine what it would be like to have a baby in TWO weeks instead of FIVE? It's about as unrealistic for me as getting crowned the Queen of England. I am pretending I'm not secretly hoping to go into labor on my own before April 1st, but I'm a fool (get it? Cause I'm scheduled to be induced on April Fools Day). It would be SO impractical for me this time around to actually have a baby before my induction date. Sel has a crazy work week the week I'm due and fo sho can't get anytime off that week. He has a blissful week off work starting 04/01. We also live 40 minutes from the hospital and how would I find someone to watch my kids plus another individual to drive me to the hospital? I don't even know what real labor feels like. No one from our family is getting here until then either which makes me crazy for hoping this boy opts out any earlier than 41 weeks. I AM crazy though. I own it. 

My poor kids and family. Lyra was being her typical tornado self yesterday. She colored on the ottoman, took one of my favorite lipsticks and flattened it in an artistic design on the kitchen floor, peed on the bathroom floor then used her clothes and an entire roll of toilet paper to clean it up (props to her for being resourceful and cleaning it up without me asking her to) then scattered ponies and scrabble pieces all over the playroom. This is a typical day for us by the way. Messes are regular occurrences. I was trying to get us to the library for an HOUR while she rampaged. It also always takes us an hour to get out the door no matter what. Lyra is always defiantly ignoring my demands to get ready and Rowan is usually busy fighting someone/something in his mind and has very little idea what's actually going on around him. I asked them to get their shoes on for the eighth time then just started crying when they didn't. I sat on the kitchen floor and let it all out. They were so disturbed. Sweet Rowan started assisting Lyra in her required clean-up and even brought me my tennis shoes and tried to help me put them on. He said he knew it was hard for me to bend over because of big baby brother. I just cried harder while they both tried to sit on my lap and comfort me. My shining knight of a husband found a gift card to Chick-fil-a and let me know I didn't have to make dinner or clean-up after it because we were going out for some gourmet grub. He also did bedtime and rubbed my back. I have the best people. 

My body is falling apart swiftly. I've felt honestly pretty good until this point. I ran a mile this week under ten minutes. I can sort of jog right now, but it's sad. I went to Zumba today and felt awesome for two songs and then wondered for the entire rest of the class how realistically I could fit my body on the locker room benches for a brief nap. Before this week, my skin started falling apart. My hands looked like a 90-year-old woman and then I got this ridiculously annoying (and painful) red mark behind my leg. It was frustratingly confusing. Since we know I have a mild clotting disorder, we weren't sure if the red mark was indicatory of a clot. The placement of it and symptoms were vaguely like one, but since I'm pregnant, it also could have just been pregnancy related. I spent a Friday debating whether I should go in or not. I had some kind other residents look at it during an HOAA event and gathered opinions on whether I should get it checked out. OF COURSE it was the weekend by the time I called the OB office and they told me to go the ER. We only ever have weird medical things happen to us on the weekend. I hated going, but I knew I would regret it if it was a real blood clot. Luckily, it was just some odd bodily failing due to pregnancy. It cleared up after a week and my skin in general is only mildly dry.

I wake up about every hour during the night to roll to the other side or to pee. I get SO tired during the day. I keep falling asleep when I'm supposed to be parenting. I've been  giving myself some slack in the entertainment department and letting the kids watch shows/play games while I nap on the couch. I'm trying to not feel guilty about it by dragging them about when our driveway isn't coated in 8 inches of snow and doing things that make me feel like they are living happy, productive childhoods instead of being enslaved by technology. My mental state struggles near the end of pregnancy. I just cry a whole bunch or get irrationally angry. It's frightening to feel so out of control. My baby maker feels like Stone Cold Steve Austin sucker punched me there about 5 times in a row. I keep getting these 5-10 minute round ligament spasms. I remember having them somewhat with Rowan and idiotically thinking they were Braxton Hicks and believing I was going to be SO good at having a baby from all the practicing my body was doing. Nope. Contractions don't last ten straight minutes or are on one side of your body. I had to pull over today and breathe through the terrible pain. I used to believe I could birth a baby without an epidural, did you know that? I really, really believed I was going to give birth to my first baby without any pain medication. I cry when I stub my toe. I'm a pansy when it comes to pain. 

There are lots of positives to be seen when I can dig myself out of my woe-is-me pit. Sel is a rockstar. He is so mindful of my feelings and never treats me like I'm nuts. He's so gentle and patient and perfect. My kids are so sweet beneath their age-appropriate behavior. They are both SO excited to have another sibling and spend a lot of time talking about him and to him. It's darling and makes me crazy excited to see them both hold him for the first time. Lyra the other day started by kissing my belly, then blowing raspberries on it and laughing, then morphed into cat scratching baby brother, pushing him and growling at him. It's about what I expect for the beginning of their relationship. Rowan just likes to stare at the 3D picture and say "he looks like me!" and kiss my belly and ask if baby bro kissed him back. I always say yes. 

I honestly don't feel THAT bad. Mostly I'm just constantly a little uncomfortable. Sacrificing comfort for the opportunity to have another baby is a super small price to pay ultimately. I'm so grateful I get this chance to be pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. I am so excited to hold a sweet new baby boy and watch him grow.

The maybe blood clot

Old lady hands