Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Imaginaries vs Sel



This is going to be a quick little blip about why Sel surpasses my imaginary friends I had in elementary school and maybe plus or minus a few years after graduation (from high school).

Imaginary Buddies
  • Helped me catch neighborhood criminals via gum wrappers left in the church parking lot
  • Played Oregon Trail with me during recess
  • Fought off evil wizards, demon robots, blood thirsty vampires, and creepy zombies
  • Caught me when I almost fell into the hot lava surrounding my bed
  • Were the ones who actually made my sister run screaming to my mother cause they would poke her and make it look like it was me
  • Saved me from the Tower of Grounding when the rulers banished me
Sel
  • Helps me carry aka carries all my heavy things everywhere even when I repeatedly tell him that I am an Olympic gold medalist in weight lifting and silver medalist in persistence.
  • Plays with me in IKEA by setting twenty plus kitchen timers for five minutes and cracks up laughing behind the pillows as they all go off in spurts, alarming unsuspecting shoppers
  • Fights off hunger by buying me frozen yogurt (my imaginary peeps never bought me anything...I could probably stop my comparison here) and shares all the homemade leftovers with me and makes me dinner whenever he gets the chance.
    I helped make this pizza :) hence it being questionable-please note the abnormal tail) with Royale Whiz and DJ Wise

  • Catches me when I stumble (which happens frequently) and catches me pleasantly off guard sometimes by singing 80's music in falsetto
  • Is the one who has actually agreed to take all my tests for me and write my LAME English paper I am wishing would banish its sorry self to the Tower of Grounding
  • Saves me from ever being bored, unhappy, grumpy, hungry, or pessimistic. He also saves me from dragons, serial killers, lava, vampires, zombies, evil wizards, demon robots, Disney channel, flying mirkins, sweet meat slams, dolls, physics, Darth Vadar, the abominable snow man, and beef. You might be wondering if he has actually saved me from all of these. Answer: Oh boy, you better believe it
I know plenty of you are going to go away now and create imaginary friends who are like Sel. The sad truth you will eventually have to face is that imaginary Sels are not nearly as amazing as real Sels (though they are infinitely better than having no Sels in your life. Shudder-that would be terrible) Real Sels give you real food and imaginary Sels give you imaginary food. No matter how hard you believe the imaginary food is real (as good ole Robin did in Hook), it will not taste as fantastical (notice the ironic word usage) as the homemade pizza a real Sel would broil for you. Hope your imaginary friends are treating you well! If not, try molding them a bit after Sel and see if they suddenly become the hilarious, fun, food giving friend you were hoping for :)


Real Sels play dress up with you in Zurchers
Real Sels also have spontaneous water fights with you
Real Sels agree to grow a mustache so you won't feel embarrassed about having one

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Plants vs Zumba


Guess what? It is Wednesday night and my body is
refusing to mellow down again cause I went to Zumba. First off, Zumba is fantastic! If you haven't gone, go. Pretend you are in Brazil, Africa, India, Downtown Detroit and have yourself a dancing cultural experience. I often times pretend I am whatever nationality the song is originating from and I also pretend I don't remember that I lack coordination and am as white as it gets as my dear poly friend is always ready to point out.
Really wonderful things happened this week. I know I brag about my family all the time, but they deserve it. My parents sent me a really sweet Valentine package (gotta love that horror novelist and his Nancy Drew meets Stephanie Plum wife) , my beautiful cousin sent me a Valentine from her and her two AdOrAbLe kids, my Aunt and Uncle sent me a Valentine, AND my Grandma sent Sel and I both Valentines along with a gianormous cupcake with a meter worth of frosting. She even shared her Godiva chocolate. This is a HUGE deal in Grandma language. She normally hides her chocolate so no one can eat it. I think one of the major reasons she shared this time though is because the only thing she had in her fridge was a block of moldy cheese and some mustard. Oh and some homemade chocolate pretzels. I could
go on for pages and pages about how wonderful they are and all the thoughtful things they do for me.
Another item of business, I have been pondering a dream that goes a bit like this:
1. All of my family finds out we are wizards/witches
2. I discover my older family members (Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Parents, Older cousins) ALL attended Hogwarts
(This is me hugging the bust of one of my honored wizarding relatives)
3. I attend Hogwarts with my sister, cousins, Sel, roommates and all others who I adore

People I adore (maybe this is what it would like had I just gotten engaged :)
(Sel and I skipping potions)

4. I spend my time acing Charms instead of not acing Physics
5. I ride a unicorn to class or a hippogriff instead of walking up the hill
6. I eat chocolate frogs (see below-I made these for one of my classes and they were almost
as magical as the real ones)


7. I stop using I to describe my ideal dream
8. My allies and I band together and defeat immortal wizards and then everyone throws a party in the Great Hall


So what. I am obsessed with Harry Potter. It could be much worse. I could be obsessed with cooking shows or serial killers or eating my hair follicles (there is a crazy disease out there where people are addicted to doing that)

Final thing. I haven't made a post about this sort of thing for awhile cause I was under the assumption I had learned a lesson or two. Caution: For anyone reading this, I insist you not criticize my stupidity. I already did that plenty as did my roommates, Sel, and some kindly people in my complex. Also, if this ever gets back to Grams she will slaughter me because I maybe made her an explicit promise to maybe not go somewhere unless I had a hulking friend with me.
I love to run. I love to feel like I am on an adventure when I run-not some lame jog around the neighborhood. I went out for my 6-miler at 7:00PM the other night. The sun was setting and I really wanted to hit a trail instead of running along the lame, boring, safely lighted sidewalks of P-town. I went to the P-town River trail (yes, I have read the recent articles about it being dangerous. Yes, I have bowstaff, nunchuck, ninja, and boxing skills. No worries). The P-town River trail has been blocked off at one part for a while and requires one to add a blasted four miles of road running for the detour (the trail goes under a highway overpass making it impossible to "go around") defeating the purpose of running on the trail. The construction workers who somehow think it is okay to use to slabs of concrete to block off the ONLY legitimate trail are really asking for it. They are, however, considerate enough to leave a small opening that one could maybe slide under so they wouldn't have to run four miles out of his or her way. Turns out they left a bunch of barbed wire all over the place AND didn't put up a sign that the only way one can get to the other side is by walking on the partially frozen river. It also turns out to be pitch black under there and the partially frozen river maybe cracked under my weight. I bet you think you know where this is going. WRONG! I didn't die in the river. I just almost did. Or almost could have...Guess going an extra four miles from now on will only make me a better runner. Which is probably better than being a dead runner. Maybe :)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Saints Who Love Me

I know I wrote a post less than 24 hours ago, but I simply had to write another. I am simply overwhelmed with gratitude for all the blessings I have been given today. I have so many people in my life who are angels or saints or whatever word of wonderfulness you can think of.
1. I have a friend, let us call her Superwoman, who is one of the most thoughtful, giving people I have ever met. She took time out of her hectic schedule (school plus three jobs plus maintaining perfection) to bring me a beautiful bag of food (Progresso soup nonetheless) and a journal. She was also the first person to give me an engagement gift. She is ALWAYS on top of remembering important things in other peoples lives and is always thinking about how to serve them.Sainthood= Superwoman.
2. My two sweet roommates bought dish detergent and the ever coveted toilet paper. My other nearly perfect roommate opened her mission call today and is going to be The Best sister missionary there ever was. Seriously though.
3. My wonderful aunt and cousin both texted me today asking for my address so they could "send me love". I know everyone thinks they have the best family ever, but mine really is. They might be loud and crazy and neurotic at times, but they are some of the most thoughtful, kind, fun, charitable, and loving people I know. Everyone is always "fine" simply because they are always putting the entire world's well being before themselves. I feel so humbled to be a part of such an astounding group of people.
4. Sel is too good to be true. We got our letter from the temple today giving us details of how to prepare/plan for our wedding. Sel also surprised me with lunch again (third time this week), gave me a "Can O' Love" (a valentine can full of deliciousness), went with me to water aerobics, , and made me dinner.
I have no idea what I ever did so amazingly right to deserve any of this. :) :) :)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Zumbafied



This is hilarious! I typed in 8AM class into Google Images and found this lovely image.

Getting up at 6AM is one of the most difficult things in the world. Unless, of course, you getting up before 6AM is in relation to a road trip to Disneyland/flight to Hawaii/exciting thing that has nothing to do with exercising before your blasted 8AM class. Every. single.semester I promise myself I will not sign up for 8AM classes. When the semester starts, 8AM feels okay. The sun is usually up or semi-up, your classmates are smiling and cordial, you did the homework/reading the day before, and your brain is fully functioning so you can understand and appreciate what is being taught. Mid semester 8AM starts to feel like a back hand slap to the face. The sun hates the ungodly hour and refuses to shine until 9AM, your classmates have glazed eyes and are wearing the same clothes they did last class period, you haven't done the reading in over two days, and your brain is only activated for 5 minute intervals. As you reach the 3/4 mark of the semester, you start to understand what Dante was talking about in Inferno. The sun is vacationing in Guam and has left your abusive neighborhood baby-sitter, The Cold, to watch over you. Your classmates sneer when you walk in the door, glare at anything that breathes and mutter unintelligent threatenings to their granola bar. You don't even remember if this was the class you started the semester in cause none of the material is familiar. You also resemble a figure from the Twilight movies-pale, awkward, and wear a permanent look of constipation. I know I am still under the 1/2 way mark, but I can already feel the fiery darts of what lies ahead.
The whole point of the above rant is that I simply cannot get up at 6AM. This means I have to fit my runs/cross-training in after my classes. This also means the 8:30PM Zumba class I attended still has my body temperature and heart rate above sleeping level at 1:00AM. Fantastic.
Second item of business. I am without a journal. I finished my journal of four years last month and am now hungry for another. The solution sounds easy enough=buy another. Guess what though? I don't have enough in my checking account currently to purchase a box of cereal (okay, so only one box of cereal depending on the brand). After I get paid, I will then need to distribute my money in the proper order of survival (food, clothes, transportation, child support ;). I am pondering writing on the wall under my bed until I get a chance to dance in Vegas again...
Third. I NEED A JOURNAL. I am at a very critical point in life where I need to write things down so I won't forget them. It is also critical that I document my life so future historians can publish my journals in textbooks used to educate minds everywhere about the life of their current ruler. I am only a few sentences from spilling my soul to the internet and that NEVER is a good idea (ie Michelle Peralta-poor thing...). I also promised the CIA I wouldn't talk openly about what I have been doing for them lately...
Here we go-Thoughts-
1. I have never been a super fan of athletics, but I LOVE the current Jimmermania. It makes me adore the humor and wit of my fellow BYU students.
2. I am dying with desperation to go to Africa as was my original plan. Living among the Ghanaians, studying their medicinal practices, speaking Twi, killing mongo spiders with a hand crafted spear, living like a wild woman for 3 months..sigh.
3. Today (Feb.10) marks the day I could have turned in my mission papers. Ironically, one of my dearest friends will be opening her call today. Though thrilled beyond belief for her and excited about my future, I still somehow wish a mission as a single sister could factor into my life plan.
4. Why can't Ohio be the state next to Utah instead of Nevada? I want to be able to drive three hours and visit my lovely mom, dad, and sister.
5. I am pretty sure my four professors scheduled their tests on Valentines Day cause they hate love or me or both. I have never been a huge fan of this commercial holiday anyway, but FOUR TESTS in one day? Come on profs-a little sympathy here.
6. My laundry pile will probably eat Sars tonight and possibly me in order to sustain its MASSIVE size.
7. Sel is fantastic and makes all above mentioned things seem survivable. He made me lunch TWICE this week and bought me bread again cause I am poor and I think he maybe has a little crush on me (Almost like Hunger Games..kinda..its a stretch).
8. My sister says she never reads my blog posts because they are too long..case in point I suppose.
9. I am going to bed...
10. RIGHT NOW