Last night I had a moment where I was overwhelmed by how beautiful my life is. Sel was laying his head on my lap while we read scriptures together. There was a plate of cookies from sweet friends on the floor by my feet and our tiny little Christmas tree was sparkling away. We had only minutes before spoken to both of our wonderful families and I kept thinking about how lucky I was to have such an incredible group of people to love for always.
My friend's husband recently passed away quite suddenly and only a day after they had their first child. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it without tearing up. Every night before I go to bed I whisper a little prayer for them. I've also whispered a little prayer for myself. A prayer to remind myself that every second of my life is precious and I should take nothing for granted.
So often I find myself looking to tomorrow and wondering what I will actually find there. I remember when I was younger I was always dreaming of becoming "great". I wanted to be the best, the most famous, the most talented, the most loved. I wanted to save the world and make sure the world knew who saved it. I remember writing once in my journal that I would never settle for an average life. An average life where I was an average wife married to an average man and we had a bunch of average little children that we were raising in our average little home.
How blind I was in my youth. How grateful I am for the wisdom that comes with growing up. Those who were of any worth when I was young were those who the world applauded for, who the world admired and envied.
Having reached this stage in my life I am so taken aback about how wrong I was. The people who I think should be continually applauded or admired are of relative little consequence to the rest of the world. My family, my friends, and my husband are the ones who are more precious to me and more important than anyone and anything.
To the outside world, my life is probably seen as pretty darn boring. Herein lies the pieces I couldn't appreciate when I was younger. The simplicity of my life is so astonishingly perfect and exactly what I wanted. I don't live in a mansion, I am no super model, I haven't written the world's best novel, I am not the CEO of some Fortune 100 company, and I have done little to save the world. Yet, here I am happy as could be with the life I lead.
When I look at those who have achieved "greatness", I feel so sad for them. All those superstars and politicians and CEO's who seem to have so many of the important things missing from their lives. I no longer aspire to be like them. I almost feel a tinsy bit sad for them. I doubt they get a lot of free time to just sit on their couch with their significant other on a wintry Sunday evening and laugh the night away.
How blessed and how lucky I am to have my "average" life full of all the simple little things that make it feel as if I have achieved greatness.
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