Rowan's Birth Story

I cannot believe I am currently the mother to the most precious, beautiful little boy. Rowan is the sweetest little miracle and I am so incredibly in love. We are still unfortunately in the hospital getting Rowan's jaundice under control and I can hardly wait to bust this joint. Six days in the hospital is waaaay too long. (recent update: totally busted free yesterday and being home is the best feeling in the universe)

This is going to be an extraordinarily long post because this guy's birth was an extra long 42 hours. Buckle up and enjoy!

Wednesday 9:00am- Sel and I went to my 41 week 3 day appointment to get an ultrasound done and see if the habanero laced salad I had eaten the night before had finally gotten things going. The second my OB walked into the room, we knew this was not going to be the quick appointment we were expecting it to be. He let us know my amniotic fluid was low and he would like to set up an induction. I asked if Monday was a good time to which he just stared at me blankly. "Oh no. You have to go to the hospital right now. Did you bring your hospital bags with you?" I started to panic because we certainly did not bring our bags and I was not emotionally prepared for all of this. Sel had stayed up until 3:00am the night before playing LOL and I had woken up at 4:00am starving. We were both going off little sleep and now we had to prepare ourselves for a surprise induction. I know I had been whining for a week straight about wanting our babe to make an exit, but I had envisioned the process of that going totally different than this. My idealized fantasy birth started with me having contractions at home for hours while stoically braving each one as a zen birthing goddess. We would have gone to the hospital when my contractions were unbearable and our baby would have come to us with a miminmal amount of medical intervention. Rowboat's birth honestly couldn't have been more opposite.

My last picture being hugely pregnant. I have such a love-hate relationship with that room behind me. 

Wednesday 12:00- we get admitted to the hospital and my birth plan goes straight out the window. I had really wanted to just get a heperain lock put in and wait as long as possible to have an IV started. Apparently when you are put on Cervadil (a little shoe string device meant to get your cervix super excited about pushing a baby out), you have to have an IV, be on a clear liquid diet and be hooked up to fetal monitoring for the whole twelve hours you are waiting for the Cervadil to do it's magic. The nurse who put in my IV was terrible at it. She ended up audibly breaking one of my veins (weirdest thing to hear) and ended up getting another nurse after three botched tries to put it in for me. 

Wednesday 2:00pm - they check me and I am at a lowly fingertip dilated still. They put the Cervadil in and tell us to rest up in our room for the next 12 hours. I had already been having cramps off and on since Monday and as soon as they put the Cervadil in, they started to get more regular and slightly more uncomfortable. Other than that, nothing really happened during those 12 hours. The Cervadil did try and sneak out around 4:00pm and a resident with gorilla hands put it back up there for me. Holy ouch! I swear he was part ape. Sel took off around 8pm to grab dinner for himself and grab some things we had forgotten in our mad dash out of the house. We both got about four hours of sleep from 10:00pm-2:00am. Poor Sel was on one heck of an uncomfortable couch that ensured his sleep deprivation was just going to get worse and worse during our stay. 

Thursday 2:00am - they took out my Cervadil and I had somehow regressed. I was still only at a fingertip dilated despite 12 hours of cramping and somehow I had gone from being 80% effaced to 50%. I was super depressed, but figured once they started Pitocin that things would change pretty fast. They let me eat some solid food and take a quick shower before they moved me along in the labor process. The cafeteria was understandably closed at 2:00am so I got to eat a junky chicken Cesar salad that I suspected must have been some nurse's leftovers. We also got an awesome nurse at this point, Shannon, who rounded up some wireless fetal monitors for me so I could move around during contractions. 

Thursday 4:00am - they decided to put in a bulb catheter to help me dilate and started me on 3mg Pitocin with the idea to up my dosage by 1 mg every hour. Having the bulb catheter inserted was miserable. Since my cervix was still on the ultimate lockdown, it took the OB 15 straight minutes of essentially fisting me to put it in. Once she was finished, I started bleeding like crazy. They very unfortunately noted at this point that they might have ruptured my membranes. They didn't, but this note in my file made things get pretty scary a bit later on. 

Sel and I started walking the halls right away. We wanted to get things progressing as fast as possible. The contractions hit like a freaking freight train and we ended up back in our room after only an hour. I started sobbing and doubting my ability to handle this without medication. All of the emotional signs pointed toward active labor, but I knew I still had such a long road to go because I still was so very little dilated. I then vomited up the entire salad I had eaten along with a popsicle. Step in saint Shannon. She came in during my break down and suggested we try some Nubain. She had read over my birth plan and was so incredibly supportive of everything I wanted. She never pushed anything on me despite the fact that they had been offering me an epidural since we were first admitted. The Nubain was a blessing from on high. It helped me refocus and calm down enough to work through each contraction. 

Thursday 7:00am - a shift change happened and my incredible nurses were replaced by a horrible new nurse. This shift change was hugely significant for us and instantly made everything way more stressful and overwhelming. 

Thursday 10:00am -the new OB on shift ordered that the bulb catheter be taken out despite the fact that it was supposed to either fall out when you reach about 5cm dilated or be taken out after 12 hours. Since it had only been in there for 6 hours and it had been incredibly painful to insert, we were understandably a bit confused on why this was happening. We were informed by our nurse that each OB has a different personal preference and this was just what the new OB liked. Sel and I kept pressing the issue and resisting, but no one really seemed to care that we had an opinion about it. So out comes the bulb catheter and up goes my Pitocin. We spent the next billion hours laboring through contractions with another dose of Nubain and attempting to walk around.

Thursday 4:00pm - The resident with gorilla hands came into check me. I politely told him his humongous man hands had no business anywhere near my downstairs and requested that someone with normal sized hands check what was happening. Luckily King Kong wasn't offended and another resident let me know that my cervix was still sealed shut. Disheartened is a light word for how I was feeling at this point. We had been laboring technically for 26 hours at this point and to find out NOTHING had changed at Fort Knox Down Under was a horrible feeling. This is where things took an extremely downward spiral. The resident shared a knowing look with the nurses before leaving our room and left whispering to one another. Our horrible nurse returned a few minutes later with surgical caps and masks in her hand. She placed them right next to the hospital bed and let me know we would be doing a C-Section around 8:00pm if I hadn't progressed. She also let me know I could no longer have any water or other forms of liquid. We asked exactly what amount of progression they were looking for here. As in, I progress to a two by 8:00pm and we are golden or were they looking for a baby to be delivered in the next four hours. As stated, our nurse royally sucked at her job and she essentially told me it was baby by 8:00pm or I was going under the knife.
After another bout of sobbing, Sel's parents arrived at the hospital. My wonderful familia had been keeping us company for the past few hours and had also been privy to watching me push through apparently "nothing" productive. We all got to sit around at this point and think about me having a C-Section. I know that plenty of women have them and everything goes wonderfully, but surgery couldn't have been further from what I was hoping to get this baby here. The other extremely upsetting part about this moment was that our little guy was still doing amazing in there and showing zero signs of distress. My water hadn't broken despite it being potentially noted as having ruptured when they put in the bulb catheter. There was absolutely no reason to panic and rush to the operating room. Alas, no one listened to our adamant protesting and probing of why this was what was happening.
Thursday 7:00pm - Our prayers were answered with the shift change. Our crappy nurse wished us well (yeah right) and a new angelic nurse named Maria came on. I honestly attribute almost everything positive about Rowan's birth to this incredible woman. She is actually a member of our church, but attends a different meeting time. She walked straight into our room when she got there and let us know she had no intention of accompanying me to the OR that evening. She has a reputation of getting things going when someone has stalled in their labor. At first, I was really overwhelmed at the idea that I was no longer having a c-section. Over the past three hours I had come to accept the situation and was almost looking forward to the relief of finally having our baby out and not being in labor any longer. When Maria stepped in, I was immensely grateful, but also terrified at the prospect of now having to face what I imagined was another millennium  of contractions. Luckily our family's and Sel were there to encourage me because I was almost at my breaking point. Maria switched out my bag of Pitocin and told me to get ready to be even more uncomfortable. She dropped my dose back down from 20 mg to 10 mg then started to re-up the dosage every hour.
Thursday 9:00pm - I asked our family's to leave because my relaxing techniques were starting to fail. I didn't need everyone to watch me close my eyes every two minutes and slowly count in my head through each one. Almost twenty minutes after they left, Maria swung by our room again. I asked at what point would I be able to get an epidural if I ended up deciding I needed one. She let me know that the one person who was actually any good at administering them was about to go off shift. If I even sort of thought I wanted one, I should get it before Epi Expert exited the building. I debated quite a bit with it, but after imagining going through another potential 12-18 hours of labor, I made my decision to get that sucker before somebody who would paralyze me went on shift. The Epi Expert entered and it seriously took her 6 minutes from the time she walked in the room to the time she left. She was amazing at what she does and nothing that I was immensely afraid of in regards to getting it happened.
Thursday 10:30pm- The OB came in to check me and WAHOO I was at 3cm. Whilst checking me, my water broke. I seriously almost reached over to caress Maria's arm and tell her she was my favorite person. At this point, I felt absolutely no pain and my cervix was finally deciding to cooperate. It felt like I might actually have this baby in 2014. Sel and I both managed to finally get in a little bit of sleep and I was allowed to have some real water instead of sucking on sponges! Yeeeaaah!
Friday 3:00am - Maria checked me and heavenly light descended on that awful hospital room. I was dilated to 10cm!!! Sing hallelujah! Even though Rowboat was incredibly low, Maria thought it might be a good idea to tilt my hospital bed to a 90 degree angle so I could labor down for a little bit. I think it is a bit funny when people say that instead of feeling pain with an epidural you just feel a lot of pressure . Last time I checked, the pressure of a two ton truck on my abdomen would pretty much spell pain in my book. I honestly think I might have straight up died if I was feeling those last three hours of contractions without an epidural. The "pressure" for those 90 degree contractions were intense.
Friday 3:30am - Maria comes back to our room and lowers my bed. She actually had been removed as my nurse at some point during the night due, but had sweetly decided to keep working with me despite not technically having me on her round anymore. She had only intended to leave me at the 90 degrees for 30 minutes, but the patient she was actually supposed to be attending to had entered the pushing stage to bring her 10 lb 11 oz little chunker to the world. Needless to say, she was a bit caught up with that horrendously painful sounding situation.
Friday 6:00am - Maria announces that we are going to try some practice pushes before she calls the OB down. Part of Rowan's head showed up on my first practice push! She called the OB and told him to get his hiney over here quick. I was really hesitant to have the mirror present to watch everything happening down there, but I am so glad I decided to opt for it. It was incredibly motivating to see a little bit of Rowboat's head every time I pushed. I ended up only having four contractions that I pushed through and then the most miraculous thing I have ever done happened at 6:23am. I became the mother to our 8 lb 15 oz and 21 inch long son. Watching Rowan come out was an indescribable moment. Physically, I felt my stomach almost instantly deflate when his body came. I also luckily felt absolutely nothing else. I was able to somehow avoid feeling the ring of fire or any other of those super duper fun feelings of pushing a bowling ball through a golf ball sized hole. Emotionally, I was in awe that the little thing that had been kicking and punching me was real. The OB held him up for me to see better andR owboat decided to promptly pee all over my leg. I remember being happily reassured right then that the ultrasound techs had told us right and Rowan was, in fact, a boy. They laid his tiny purple body right on my chest and I got to hold my heart on the outside for the first time. He used his strong little frog legs to push up on my chest where he then began to root around in my cleavage for the milk buffet he had been promised. I was amazed and still am so amazed at how powerfully motivated he is to eat. I am also immensely grateful that we had such an amazing headstart to breastfeeding with him making it his number one priority seconds after entering the world. Maria had to take Rowan over to the warming unit to help him get some fluid out of his lungs and Sel stayed right by our little guy the whole time. The OB had ended up giving me a midline episiotomy and I had a third degree tear to get repaired. While he narrated to the resident the art of stitching up lady parts, I focused all my attention on watching Sel hold Rowboat's tiny fist while Maria continued to suction fluid out of his lungs.

We were both a little worn out after our 42 hour process of getting that sweet boy here. 

Things finally got settled down after I was stitched up. We called our family's to tell them Rowboat was finally here and I got to snuggle the sweetest new addition to the world for the next 45 minutes. I still doubt I will ever be able to capture the powerful emotions from that day. I still look at him and can hardly believe that he was inside of me. This perfect little person started out as a microscopic cell and grew into this incredibly sweet baby boy. I know almost every parent thinks this, but he is the most wonderful being I have ever been blessed to meet. I can hardly wait to see what type of person he will be and how lucky I am to be such a big part of his life. I have also fallen even more deeply in love with the man who gave me this beautiful boy. Sel is the most adorable father around. He absolutely adores Rowan and can hardly wait for his turn during the day to hold him. He just stares at Rowan as if he is his whole world. I already think Rowan looks so much like his daddy and I could not be happier about it. We are both absolutely smitten with this little miracle of ours! Aw! Life is so beautiful with these two sweet boys of mine!

6 hour old Rowboat

The two things I love the very most about this world. 

41 Weeks

Are you tired of hearing from me? I guess that is what happens when I find myself with endless days I wasn't expecting to have.  It appears that even when I think I am at my wit's end, that I am reminded how blessed I truly am. 

I mean, how awful can life truly be when you are (hopefully) within a few weeks of finally holding a baby you have been so excitedly waiting for? I have too many friends who have to struggle through the  almost unbearable trials of infertility and miscarriages. I have no room to complain for a second about feeling mildly like a teenage-sized hippopotamus. And really, I feel pretty excellent all things considered. We even went on a six mile hike through the woods yesterday and I did two hours of Zumba today. I wasn't miserable during any of that fun activity (sure, I was doing it to induce labor and absolutely nothing is happening….but both things were really fun outside of failing to get things going).

Sel seducing a butterfly right in front of me

Also, I have had the opportunity to do a bunch of fun things this last week. Sel had a medical conference in Columbus that we had definitely thought he wouldn't be present for. Since our little boy was considerate enough to stay put so long, we were both able to do some pretty fab things at the conference. Sel got to learn a bunch for his research project and I got to tag along for some of the highlights. We got to go to the botanical gardens and hold butterflies. We sampled some really "interesting" hor d'oeuvres at a garden party. We even got invited to a 4.5 hour dinner with Sel's advisor at a biodynamic, local and organic restaurant. You might be wondering what that even means because I certainly had no clue. Turns out, it was a lot like that episode from Portlandia where they keep asking questions about the personality of the chicken they are considering ordering. I felt like the chef implied in the menu that he personally drove to pick up any animals he would be serving, gave them a deep tissue massage, painted their talons/hooves, sang them a lullaby and then turned them into dinner. I would recommend at least checking out their menu. Till is the name of this fine establishment.

This butterfly whispered to me that it would send me some eagles if I ever got into a tight spot like Gandalf did.  

I got to adore all over this little girlfriend of mine twice this week. And her lovely parents too :) 

I also got to chill at the pool with one of my favorite friends, hang out with my familia a whole bunch, eat too much food and see my precious little niece, nephew and sis-in-law.  

Finally, a friend showed up at my door today with goodies for me and it melted my heart. I have been intentionally ignoring my phone (sorry mom and dad). I actually have taken to burying it in our bed first thing in the morning to keep me from staring at the time slowly ticking by. I am the wooorrst.  Anyway, back to the friend that is amazing. I am so happy she stopped by! Especially because I probably would have been a total jerk and not called her back until August if she had called beforehand. She also makes some wicked awesome cookies that I have embarrassingly been chowing down on ensuring I will still resemble a large zoo animal after the baby comes. It just couldn't have been better timing. I have had three friends expecting babies after my due date and as of this morning, all of them have had their beautiful little babes. I also got a stupid notification from Baby Center this morning congratulating me on my newborn turning one week old. Still pregnant you piece of junk app. So this morning I had myself a pathetic little pity party and said the upteenth prayer begging today to be THE day. Instead of answering my prayer the way I thought it should be answered, Heavenly Father sent this friend to remind me the world is a beautiful, wonderful place filled with incredible people. Oh! I also have been feeling the Facebook love so a BIG thank you to all the commenters who keep encouraging me. You are all the best of the best!

Gifts from my angelic friend

I have been majorly stressing about all of Sel's family coming this week and being sans child. Part of this is totally my fault because when we originally had our first ultrasound they told me the baby was four days ahead of what I estimated from my LMP. I started measuring my weeks every Friday with the idea that I would ignore the due date of July 11th and estimate that he would actually be here closer to July 14th since I had a feeling from the beginning that he would be late. Of course, I was estimating a few days overdue opposed to a few weeks. Hence, why the plane tickets were booked for this upcoming Thursday instead of a bit later in the month. The thing is, it will still be waaay fun to see them all and still be massively pregnant. I don't know why I kept worrying so much about it because I love them all like crazy and I at least think they won't care that they will just get to stare at a very rotund version of myself instead of an adorable little newborn. 

There I am in all my roundness. Whoa! I am soooo large!

 So, as I am now entering the 42 week of being pregnant I will continue to remind myself how lovely life is despite the mild hold being placed on our lives. 

Beached Seals & Rabid Wolves

This is me being done. 

I know you are 100% so sick and tired of hearing me whine, but guys, I am so done. I have finally reached that point in pregnancy where I am this close to yanking this baby out myself. I know this is mostly from the sleep exhaustion as this week has marked the first where I have gotten maybe 3-4 hours of sleep per night. I am able to sleep for about 45 minutes- 1 hour stretches and then I wake up and take about 30 minutes to find a comfortable position to fall back asleep.  When I sleep on my side, the enormous pressure of my son cuts off circulation to my hips and lower limbs. He also has a freaking panic attack and kicks wildly at my side until I roll over. When I finally roll over to the other side, he waits about 10 minutes before freaking out again on that side. And, of course, when I fall asleep on my back I wake up 5 minutes later feeling like as if I am drowning. When I finally give up (usually around 5am), I get to spend an hour massaging my aching sides after mistakenly taking the pain for possible contractions. I then spend the day in a semi-zombie trance looking disturbingly how I feel.

Am I being dramatic? Undoubtedly. Have I reached a point where I don’t care? You bet your bottom dollar.  I know this is excellent training for the months ahead, but I was a little bit hoping to actually stock up on some sleep before it becomes the world’s most precious commodity. I also cannot imagine how rockin labor is going to be when I get to enter it with as little sleep as I am getting. Awesome. 

On another note, all of Sel’s family will be arriving in T-town a week from today. I have been so majorly excited for their arrival for the past few months until recently where I realized I could very well still be pregnant when they all get here.  Or I could be in the hospital the whole time they are here. Oh AND Sel leaves for Utah in 14 days which could leave me still pregnant because I am pretty sure this baby is not coming until December at the earliest. My doctor has told me he is totally set to induce me July 21^st, but I have zero desire to be induced.  He luckily won’t force my uterus until August 1^st unless Rowboat shows signs that he is not thriving in there anymore. I bet some of you are all, dude, stop complaining and just get induced. I applaud all the women of the world who have the lady balls to brave Pitocin, but I am not brave enough yet to enter your ranks.

I know I am one lucky duck to have made it this far and carried a healthy baby. I also know that babies come when they are supposed to or on their birthday or yadayadayada .  That is super great of you to say whilst you are over there being not 41 weeks pregnant. (If you are 41+ weeks pregnant and feel this way, you dear friend, are completely justified in giving me a pep talk on patiently waiting for my child. I would also welcome any tactics you are currently employing to not go batty in your present condition). I yo-yo pretty much every hour from being eternally grateful and rational to being a crazy woman. I bet you can’t guess what part of the yo-yo I am on right now.

Finally, to all the amazing people of the world who are super excited for us and keep texting/calling to ask if the baby is here yet…I love you times a hundred for being pumped for us, but I swear if you ask me one more time, I will train a rabid pack of wild wolves (think Hunger Games style) to encircle your home for the next millennium. I will then text or call you everyday to ask if you have figured out a way to escape your confinement and try to hide my disappointment that you have failed at a task that is obviously very easy to overcome.  If we are close enough for you to ask me everyday for baby updates, you are someone I love and care enough about to tell when this kid finally leaves my womb.  And to the well meaning acquaintances who exclaim “Still pregnant, eh?” when you see me,  I also mostly love you, but instead could you please exclaim “Still sexy and svelte, eh?” or “Way to still be out and about attempting to live life instead of pouting at your house and eating tubs of ice-cream…eh?”.  Finally, if anyone would like to offer comfort to Sel, it would be much appreciated because he is going almost as crazy as I am. He has gotten to the point where every two hours he asks if I have felt anything. And every two hours I get to disappoint him by telling him no. 

Imagine 20 of these surrounding your home. Except more vicious looking with foam and bald spots. 

P.S. I will actually be “unplugging” until this baby gets here. So please don’t be offended if I don’t answer your phone calls, texts, or emails. It’s not you, it’s the chubby weakling over here who you would want to punch in the face for being Wendy Whiner if you did actually get a hold of me.

P.S.S My mom just told me my whole birth story and I am now starting to understand why this baby is not here yet. Karma, y'all. Straight up karma. 

Touched By An Angel

Little known fact: I was a child actor. True story. I became fairly famous after appearing in Touched by an Angel Season 6 Episode 24 aka "A Clown's Prayer". My parents were frightened by how quickly my fame was appearing to mount after my brief appearance as audience member 22 and quickly pulled me out of Hollywood before I headed down the fast track to becoming Miley Cyrus. I am grateful for their foresight now, but was thoroughly crushed that I would not be joining up with Mary-Kate and Ashley to become the Olsen Triplets. 

Actually, this post has nothing to do with my brief moment of childhood fame. I just thought the title of the show I starred in was fitting to how I have been feeling lately. 

We are going to have to start this story roughly 365 days ago. Sel and I had taken on my road warrior parents as companions for our 27 hour drive across the country to our new home in Toledo. We left on a Saturday with the idea that we would roll into town on Sunday and I would start work on Monday. We hadn't found a place to live yet and asked our bro&sis-in-law if we could stay with them for one or two nights until we found a new place to call our own. I started work at the height of the branch's busyness and felt overwhelmed almost instantaneously. We ended up struggling to find a place to live for THREE months. So our two night invasion of my sweet in-laws turned into three months of us sleeping on an air mattress in my nephew's room. Throw into that mix the fact that my sis-in-law was going through the not so fun first trimester, my nephew was going through a really difficult stage, her husband was gone for a straight month, she was going to school full-time and you've got some really stressed out people. Or at least I was. I was so stressed out that I stopped having a period and was on the verge of tears daily. I spent a lot of days asking "Why in the world are we in this horrible new place?"
I kept getting an answer to my question by continually being the recipient of an overwhelming amount of kindness from those around us. I illustrate how miserable our first few months in Toledo were to show that even though things seemed pretty grim for awhile, we still had sooo much to be thankful for all because of the people we were being introduced to. My whole life has been marked by being surrounded by selfless individuals, but our first year in T-town has just been chuck full of angels. I mean, let's take my bro&sis-in-law for starters. They let us sleep in their 900 sq foot apartment for 90 days! Who even does that? Answer: The kindest people in the universe. After we finally left them in peace, they continued to do these little (huge) acts of love for us. They brought me countless flats of raspberries and brought Sel root beer to last a lifetime. My bro-in-law even made an Anatomy finals rice krispie treat for Sel just because he is that thoughtful of a brother.
My parents have also been so incredible and done so much for us. I grew up thinking all parents were overwhelmingly kind, helpful, and loving. Turns out, some are, but some sadly are not. I won't even try to list all the things my parents have done for us this past year because it would seriously be a 500 page novel.
I have especially felt the love from all the wonderful lady friends in my ward. When I was newly pregnant two friends offered to let me borrow/have some of their maternity clothes. I was then bombarded with boxes of baby clothes from three friends (one of them being the same angel who gave me the maternity clothes). I have had two showers thrown for me and was given some incredible presents from some incredible people. I have already had multiple offers from friends to make us meals or help us out once the baby arrives. One friend went as far to ask intense specifics about Sel an I's favorite treats, meals, drinks, etc so she could have everything prepared. I think one of the most touching things happened the other day though. Thinking about it still makes me tear up a little because I honestly can't get over how sweet this act of service was. One of my friends came to my house and gave me a two hour pedicure. She washed my feet, massaged them, filed my toe nails, and painted them a dazzling ruby red. While I reclined in comfy chair my friend sat on our uncomfortable floor whilst being 28 weeks pregnant and washed my super unattractive feet. I couldn't help but relate her actions to when Christ washed the feet of the apostles. How do people like this even exist?
I know I cry about everything lately, but when I sit down and consider all of the love we have felt since we moved here, I just can't stop the tears. I feel so undeserving and unworthy to be surrounded by friends and family of this caliber. Looking back, it is so easy for me to see that this city is exactly where we were supposed to end up. Ghettoness and all.
I have been counting my blessings lately to keep my mind off the fact that I am still pregnant. As you can see, it has been pretty easy to come up with a huge list that can easily consume my thoughts. I would, however, totally be okay continuing to ponder how lucky I am with this baby on the outside of me instead of still partying it up inside. I really need to get his career as a child actor jump started and if he doesn't come out soon, I am super afraid all the good baby spots on the shows are going to be taken.

I am that child sitting in the field. 

Baby Rabies

Here we are folks at the  39th week and some change. I am 100% ready for this not-so-little guy to make his grand appearance. This whole pregnancy I have been telling myself he was going to be two weeks late to prepare myself for going over my due date. And then, the most unfortunate thing happened at exactly 37 weeks. I started having intense Braxton Hicks for two straight hours making me think he might be coming sooner rather than later. False. It appears he is more than happy to stay in Hotel Uterus for the next  3 weeks. I keep wondering what my mindset would be like if I hadn't started having those "fake" contractions three weeks ago and I feel like I would be a much happier camper. 

At my most recent doctor's appointment, my fav OB let me know I am zero percent dilated for the third week in a row. Rowboat's head is super low and apparently my cervix is downy soft (80% effaced), but no progress as of yet. During our super personal encounter, my doctor let me know we would likely not talk about induction until I am 42 weeks (July 28th) because I have a gigantic pelvis that could easily accommodate a 11 pound baby. I for sure DO NOT want to be induced, but imaging still being pregnant in a month is almost unbearable. It' s like a switch finally went off and my "I love being pregnant" mantra went to "Head toward the light at the end of the tunnel little boy or  that little home of yours is about to become a hostile environment ". Bending over feels like a brilliant and underutilized form of torture. I also cannot go 30 minutes without having to run to the bathroom which makes doing anything a p-a-r-t-y. I have begun to fantasize about the day when I can sleep on my back again without waking up to a racing heart, nausea, and cold sweats.  Also, I cannot wait to run again! I miss it so much more than I ever imagined I would. 

 All things considered, I still do feel pretty grand. Rowboat has never once kicked me in the ribs, my back has yet to be sore, I am not super swollen, I can still go on our three mile walks no problem, and I usually get at least five hours of sleep at night. So… I guess I can understand a little bit why this kid feels like he is chill to stay in there another millennium.
Despite all of that, this week Sel and I have been doing everything we can think of to encourage a speedy exit of the bambino. We ate an entire pineapple in 36 hours, had me walk on curbs for our daily 3 miler and yesterday I even waddle/ran for a few minutes, I have bounced on.my birth ball for hours, and eaten spicy food. My cervix, however, is still happily keeping that kid in.
I had my last day of work exactly a week ago due to the anticipation annoyingly built those fateful weeks ago. I can't decide if I wish I was still going to work as it would be a distraction whereas,  I also have reached a weird point where I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. Obviously physical things are a bit more taxing than before, but it's become a constant reminder from strangers, family, or friends that the baby is still not here. "Any day now" is likely the worst phrase ever invented in regards to pregnancy because any day now entails a very large 6 week window.  I don't know what is wrong with me because I haven't even hit my official due date yet, but I am starting to realize my initial prediction of him coming two weeks late is extremely likely. Ultimately, all I want is for this little guy to be as healthy and happy as possible even if it means two and a half more weeks of this.  I know for certain that he is worth the wait.