The hardships of motherhood

Ever since I was in elementary school, people with heavy burdens have seemed to find me. I don't know if it's that those people are looking for anyone to help them and I happen to cross paths with them at the right moment. I honestly don't know what it is and I typically haven't minded letting friends, family, or random strangers (who tend to be those who most frequently spill their whole life story to me) share their burdens if only through word with me. I have felt guilty on many occasions that I don't have much to contribute to making them feel better. I fail miserably at sharing words of wisdom or at being articulate in any sense of the word. I mostly just listen and offer small comments of sympathy. Sel has noticed this trend and likes to share his musings on why it happens. Apparently this same tie attracting those struggling to me crosses into the electronic world. I find myself discovering blogs of those going through unspeakable trials. Obviously those writing the blogs aren't reaching out to me, but I will happen upon one and just get sucked into whatever they are going through. It drives Sel bonkers because I will get so weighted down feeling sorry for strangers I will never meet. I will also make whatever they are going through personal. I will spend time contemplating what it would be like to lose my husband, my child or have family members with disabilities. No matter how hard I try to read articles or stories without relating it my life, I just can't seem to do it.  Sel doesn't get why I keep reading sad things and I suppose I don't either. I blame it on the perpetual invisible bond that has been following me around.

I have also seen an incredible amount of articles/blogs getting posted that talk about the hardships of motherhood. They usually conclude with some heartwarming bits of encouragement to keep journeying on and to keep motherhood real. These articles mean well, but they sit poorly with me. Every time I read one that "gets real" about how their kids bathe once a week, their houses are messy, or other pieces pointing out how their mothering is imperfect, my mind flashes back to those blogs of mothers who would kill to write a post talking about how hard it is to raise a house full of healthy, "normal" kids. I think comparing hardships is one of the dumbest, most useless things anyone can do. Who wins in the battle of whose life is hardest?  No one. It is always a bad idea. However, I can't help feeling unsettled about the idea of saying being a mom is hard (for me at least). Being a mom has been relatively easy for me and I have no idea why. I know it has had almost nothing to do with me and almost everything to do with my current circumstances.  I have one healthy baby boy who challenges me everyday, but he does not burden me. Being a mom is way easier to me than it was to work. I guess if we are comparing a life where I am filthy rich and travel the world with no responsibilities to my current life, you could potentially use the word hard. I just feel like longing for a baby after too many negative pregnancy tests sounds like a hard life to me. Having a baby die or be given away sounds like a hard life to me. Losing a child or a spouse sounds hard.  Getting a divorce sounds hard. Having a child with special needs or a chronic illness sounds hard. Having crippling health problems sounds hard. Getting up in the middle of the night to feed my baby doesn't feel hard when I think of all the alternatives. Having a child that fidgets or is stubborn or who whines doesn't feel hard. Failing at my one productive goal of the day to do the dishes doesn't frustrate me when I think about how lucky I am to have cabinets full of dishes or a fridge full of food to dirty those dishes. 
I really don't mean by posting this to discourage the beautiful release of venting. Like I said, comparison games are for people looking to fight a pointless battle. I also think those circulating
articles about the realities of normal mothering should continue to inspire and encourage all the moms who desperstely need to hear it. I only mean to share my personal thoughts on how I can't really consider anything in my current life hard when so many would happily trade me for my "hardest" day. I can't complain when I truly consider how enormously blessed I am.
I used to feel really weighted down when people unloaded on me, but now I am grateful for the perspective it gives me and the opportunity to help even if it is just a listening ear. Listening to another who is struggling also reminds me to keep my complaints in check and focus on the parts of my life that matter most. I dont exactly know where I was going with this, but I think I said

what I wanted to.