22 Weeks

Sometimes I feel like I've become gradually less interesting of a person. It's not that I was overly fascinating before, but I think it's been a downward spiral since becoming a mom. I mostly operate on survival mode. Is my child breathing? Check. Did I fed him? A+. Does he have a mostly fresh diaper? Way to be. Is he clothed? Eh. Does sort of count? Is he happy/safe/stimulated? Kind of. 

I love it. I love it so much! But it also means if you don't think my kid is the best person in the universe, then I'm sort of a boring person to talk to. I've started to notice my brain completely flat-lines when I'm having a conversation with someone. I can't think of a single thing to say. I can't even think of a question to ask them which I am normally pretty stellar at. I just stare vacantly (probably with my mouth open) at whomever I am talking to until they feel uncomfortable enough to excuse themselves from my presence. I think I can blame "pregnancy brain" for at least part of my failure to communicate with other human beings. 

How is this all making an appearance on my post about pregnancy? It's sort of an apology to anyone who used to like to read my blog cause I had more to talk about than my child and my soon-to-be second. That's all I can mentally afford to be lately is "mom". I wouldn't have it any other way, but I know it doesn't always make for an interesting read. 

Soooo on to the current loading status of baby numero dos. 

1. Number of Weeks:  Just about 22 weeks. 

2. Due Date:  06.06.16

3. Gender : Still a little lady

4. Baby Size: A spaghetti squash. She was 13 oz at my most recent ultrasound two weeks ago. 

5. Weight Gain/Loss: Still below my pre-pregnancy weight by 2 lbs. Getting close to finally being back to what it was. I feel very lucky it's been a slow weight gain so far, but I haven't forgotten how gigantic I get near the end. I luckily didn't gain much overall weight with Row, but I still looked so big. I find it incredibly ironic that I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight the week after having Rowan and it took me 10 months of kicking my butt to lose the weight I gained breastfeeding. I'm a freak of nature who loses weight without trying during pregnancy and gains weight breastfeeding while exercising and eating well. The universe can play some really messed up jokes on you sometimes. My dream is to NOT gain weight during breastfeeding this time around. I'm not sure how to do it differently since I was running from 6 weeks postpartum and eating fairly well, but it's going to happen. Just wait.

6 Maternity Clothes: Bless you maternity clothes. Bless you. You know you've reached an all-time low of not caring about your appearance when you're not just wearing sweatpants everyday, but maternity sweatpants. My maternity jeans are irritating. Again with my ultra-weird body during pregnancy. I'm somehow down to the jean size I was while training for my marathon during college, but my belly obviously is toting a human. SO all my maternity pants fall straight off my butt, but if I wear a belt I feel like I'm crushing Lyra against all my internal organs. They also make me have to pee every five seconds instead of my usual ten second intervals. 

I've been majorly blessed with a mom who goes mad buying clothes. She had already stocked my closet during my Rowan pregnancy with tons of cute things and went ballistic during this Christmas. I have maternity clothes for months now. 

7. Energy/Sleep I now sleep with 800 pillows. Sel has been on an away rotation so it hasn't been a big deal, but I think he's going to want to suffocate me with one of those 800 pillows when he gets back. Ever since I had Rowan, I need to sleep on my back. My hips hurt too badly otherwise. Guess what? You can't sleep on your back when you're pregnant or your baby will die and you will have a heart-attack (according to my google search). My OB did say it was best to avoid back-sleeping so Dr. Google only exaggerated something that's real. I have to wrap my arms and legs around a body pillow and then I stack two big body pillows behind me so I can lay on my back when I fall asleep. It sounds comfy, but it's not. Row wakes up typically once a night which is perfect because it usually corresponds with when I need to get up to go pee. He's just helping his old-lady out. 

8. Symptoms: Crazy. Being crazy is a symptom of being me, but gets worse during pregnancy. I always find out about awful stories during pregnancy and spend my life thinking about all the things that could go wrong. It's awful. I hate it. Is there therapy for someone like me? Cause there should be. 

I've been achy lately in my hips and upper abs. I haven't been able to figure out if it's from one of my workouts this week or if I'm going into early labor (please see above symptom)

Fatigue. I've been feeling exhausted at the smallest thing lately. Rowan loves when I go down slides behind him at play lands. We were at Chick-fil-A this week and had the play land to ourselves. I could only go down the slide twice before needing a ten minute break. He was obviously disappointed in my lack of physical strength to go down 80 times in a row like a real mom should be able to. We also have been playing a game where we race from the sliding glass door to our couch. The distance is about 12 feet and I get so winded. Nannying has become tricky because I get so tired carrying two babies around. I don't know how moms with twins have more children. They have super powers for even having twins in the first place let alone adding more to their crew while caring for twins. 

9. Exercise: I am doing a health challenge for the next few weeks and have done a pretty bang up job here. I've mixed it up between Zumba, walking, swimming, biking, ellipticaling (can this be a verb), yoga and a pregnancy strength tape throughout the last three weeks. My achilles is being a butthead again though. This has been a recurrent thing since my half in May. It's a freaking jerk. 

10. Thoughts for this Week I am starting to connect more with this little girl! I keep having dreams that I give birth to another little boy. It's confusing me. Rowan lovesssss her. Adores her. Their connection makes me so excited to finally meet her and see them interact face-to-face. I was panicking a little bit about having a daughter earlier this week and Sel was wise enough to say, "Why don't we just give her a fair chance?" I've been setting myself up to worry about dealing with all the things I was growing up not even giving this girl a fighting chance to show how awesome she's really going to be. 

Just like I had a spiritual experience seeing Rowan has a young adult, I've felt/seen/whatever it is that happens to me with her. When I was thinking about whether we would have a boy next after her, I felt as if this beautiful young woman said "Mom! It's MY turn". I know it sounds kind of odd, but I'm obviously not great at explaining it. I just feel really blessed to have this sweet girl joining our family soon. I cannot wait for that tender newborn stage again where they just lay on you all day long and want nothing more than to be around you. 

I was really glad at the ultrasound that they verified it is for sure a female. A friend loaded me up with baby girl clothes and I had a moment before the ultrasound where I wondered "What if it is a boy? What do I do with all these adorable clothes that I really want to dress a chubby baby girl in?" She's luckily still a she! At my ultrasound, she was being quite the character. My placenta is posterior which means she can feel everything happening outside my belly really well. SO she's been deflecting kicks and punches from Rowan already. The ultrasound got some pictures of her beautifully healthy heart and organs and her gargantuan arms and legs. Rowan measured 5 days ahead of schedule with his limbs but she's about 8 days ahead for hers. The OB commented on it and assured me it was normal, she would just be a long little thing. Lyra was getting SO annoyed during the ultrasound. It's funny how you can tell how a baby is reacting to something when they can't exactly tell you and all you're looking at is black & white images. We couldn't get a shot of her brain or face because she burrowed into my back and pushed her butt against the probe. Anytime the tech would try a different side, she would defiantly stick her bum in that direction. No more pictures lady. STOP poking me. I could actually feel her bum protruding a bit through my belly because she was pushing back against the probe so hard. I was actually a little thrilled about this because it means we get another ultrasound at 24 weeks! The same thing happened with Rowan and we got the most beautiful picture of his face that week. He had a chance to chub out more in the womb from 20 to 24 weeks and the shot the tech got of his face was exactly what he looked like as a newborn. I'm so hoping this same thing happens again!

18 week bump

20 week bump

Yay! It's still a girl!

21 week bump ( I really like this outfit, okay?)

There she is! The ones at the ultrasound clinic were way better quality and you could see her so much better, but I'm certainly not complaining about another chance to see her.