I wrote this when Mosiah was 3 months old " Mosiah Aka Baby Soda is growing and changing so much everyday. It's difficult to comprehend the changes as they truly happen overnight. His little facial features have altered just slightly every morning. Watching him grow gives me a thrill of excitement with a slightly less powerful pang of sorrow; a sadness of realizing my brain won't be able to store each sweet feature and tiny detail before Mosiah moves on to the next stage, the next milestone, the next version of himself."
It's still true. Watching my babies grow has brought indescribable joy and excitement. Looking at any one of my children's faces bundles an entire lifetime of dreams, hopes, and love into one moment. It blurs timelines merging past, present and future into one messy, beautiful knot of feelings. Remembering how they were when they were sweet little babies brings those warm, blissful memories of delight along with the pang of longing for moments forever passed. Thinking of how they'll change each year gets me giddy with excitement. What will they look like? How will they act and see the world? What will they be passionate about? I simultaneously do not want them to grow knowing the days of all those heavy, big feelings that come with growing older are ahead of them. Right now, all four of them live in a fairly simple, pure little world where feeling sad, angry or happy has a linear pathway of events. Someday soon a hug, kiss or moment of loving attention will not be enough to comfort them and I'm not ready for it. The present is a a mind bender. I can see all that they ever were up until this moment and the vibrant strokes of their personalities have outlined who they are since day one. I think I'm going to remember everything about the present version of themselves while also knowing so much will slip away. The way Mosiah snuggles against my chest on the way to his bed and then immediately rolls over onto his stomach in his bed when I tuck him in seem like such concrete memories that my brain will store forever. I already can't remember how the other three laid in their cribs when they were his age. Were they tummy sleepers? Side sleepers? Something I gently did for years has already vanished. Thank goodness for the written word to help job my future self's memory. On that longwinded note, here is what I want to remember about sweet Soda.
He started consistently walking this week. He's wobbly and falls on his diaper-padded bum almost constantly, but just smiles and keeps on going. He's completely unfazed by failure or setback and it is a good reminder to me of how I should view learning new things. Mosiah is a needy, wiggly little guy. He would like to be held most of the day, but he would also like to be actively doing things while being held. It's a super fun conundrum. He likes being in the backpack and carrier, but they don't exactly lend themself to functionally completing all the activities. Anything that involves bending over is out which is unfortunately a huge part of my day- dishes, sweeping, cleaning out the chicken coop, etc. You don't realize how much you bend over for things until you have an adorable baby on your back. Mosiah is hungry. He loooooves to eat. He recently started getting his own lunchbox when Rocky get his and there's never been a happier baby. He really likes grapes, cheese sticks, bone broth, soda (oh the irony), squeezing tiny juice boxes all over himself, meat in all it's forms, cooked carrots and applesauce pouches. Or anything anyone else is eating is also his favorite. He whines desperately when one of his siblings is handed something in the car assuming it's food and that he's being left out of an eating experience. I'm really excited to see how he does with a smash cake.
Mosiah signs a couple words inconsistently- more, milk, and tree. We're working on it more and he's a fast learner. He also says a couple words pretty clearly -duck being the primary one. He loves the "ducks"- which include the chickens and is always trying to crawl in their coop with them. When actually presented with the opportunity to pet one, he pulls his hand back. It's odd to thing about how different his babyhood/toddlerhood is already than the older kids. He spends so much time outside and would prefer it to be that way 24/7 - eating rocks, crawling after birds, eating sand, eating grass, riding in his little bike and car, licking pavement, eating dirt, honking the horn in the pickup truck and licking the window. He cries hardcore if someone walks outside and he doesn't get to follow. I culled three of our roosters over the last two days and there was Mosiah making sure I did a good job. He's a country kid already and not quite one. My aunt pointed out in a fun family trivia game that he's moved three times if you count when I was pregnant with him. That fact blew my mind a little as his little life has already been one of many a transition.
Mosiah loves nursing a lot still. His top two teeth have sloooowly been coming in and he reminds me of a little vampire sometimes when he forgets he has teeth while breastfeeding. He's starting to sleep through the night about 5 times per week and the other two nights continue to be pretty chill with one sleepy nursing session. He transfers back to his closet room (he sleeps in a pack n play in our closet still) without any resistance which is so nice. Down to one nap most days which makes things a little easier in terms of going places. He loves when I chase him or tackle him and has such a sweet giggle. I live for his sunshine smiles. Mosiah climbs everything. It's terrifying and horrible honestly. He will climb up on the counter, table, chairs, stairs, bed, anything he can climb, he will do it. I was taking a box out of the attic the other day and he climbed the ladder and almost crippled us both when I tried to descend with him literally on my heels. It took him 30 seconds or less to climb the ladder. He also has this terrible tendency to think it's a game for me to quickly try and grab him before he falls off the edge of something. He thinks it's so funny and has been saved from severe head trauma by the luckiest of heel grabs. He continues to really love being a part of the pack of older kids even when Rocky is super rough on him. He's hilariously compliant to being carried around by all the older kids even though he's 2/3 the size of Rocky and Lyra. Mosiah is size 2T right now and Rocky just barely is growing out of some 2T clothes which is making him VERY sad when Mosiah gets his hand me down. So we just hide those clothes and will hope he forgets they exist over the next few months.
Mosiah's eyes seem green and his hair is light blonde. His eye shape reminds me of baby Lyra and how his hair grows, hair color like Rowan, and climbing death wish like Rocky. I had a little picture in my head of him while I was pregnant as a smiling, loving man hugging me and laughing while his three daughters ran around a table. I know it sounds a little out there, but I pictured that version of who he could be a lot throughout the last hard bits of my pregnancy. I also remember meditating while walking on a beautiful sunny day about him and FEELING his joyful, peaceful spirit while looking up at large, beautiful clouds. That same peaceful, joyful sense about him while in utero has remained on the outside. I'm so grateful for his sunny little self and how much love he has brought to our family.
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