The other day I got to hear two men evaluate every detail of my face. It was interesting to say the least. It was one of those experiences I had always been curious about. Haven't we all at one point wondered what others truly thought when they looked at us? I wrote a post about trying not to care about this quite recently. The timing of my post and this encounter with such beauty critics was mildly ironic.
I was eating and staring very intently at my phone the other day. Two men came and sat at the booth over from mine and began talking about their daily normalities. I didn't really pay attention and continued to look at pictures on Instagram. After a few moments, one of them leaned over to the other and told him to look at the girl in the red coat. I quickly snuck a glance around the restaurant to see if their was another girl wearing a red coat and alas, it was only me.
They then commenced one heck of a critique on what parts of me they deemed beautiful. Here are these two random dudes evaluation of my physical appearance.
* The bone strucuture of my face is very pretty and seems to indicate it won't be too altered for the worse should I get fat.
* My lips are somewhat full, but would probably do better with a little bit more plump. I would probably need to get botox injections as I got older.
* My skin is exceptional, but could do with a bit more color. Because it is so pale I probably look not too hot in the mornings cause you would be able to see bags under my eyes. This also somehow indicates I would look horrible hung over
* My nose is pretty decent in relation to the rest of my face.
* One really wished my hair was a shade or two darker, the other liked the color it was now. Since I had it in a ponytail they spent time musing over what it might look like down and how long it might be. They thought I had sideburns though and pondered on whether or not I was hairy other places.
* They really liked my eyes and had a lengthy debate about whether or not I was wearing make-up. One of them finally got it right and said even when girls don't look like they are wearing, make-up they probably are. They liked the shape and the color of green reminded one of them of the brand John Deere.
* They thought my body looked healthy, strong, athletic and I had nice legs. Both determined I probably looked good naked (My face was burning with embarrasment and increased anger at this point) I am still at a loss as to how they determined all these things about my body considering I was wearing my coat the whole time, knee high boots, and a scarf. Not much of my body shape was apparent under my bundling, but their imagination was, erg, interesting.
I became VERY intrigued with my food as they neared the end of their evaluation. The overall conclusion,
they would both might ask me out if I wasn't married, but they weren't sure cause they thought I had a look of snobbiness about me (sighitng specifically my boots and scarf choice...what?) and might not actually be either of their types. Both agreed they would really like hooking up with me even if it were for a one night stand. When they left, that one of them made eye contact with me and smiled. I glared and grimaced back.
I just sat there for a few minutes stunned that anyone especially two men took so much time to rip me apart detail by detail. It wasn't necessairly negative and parts were at least reasonably flattering, but also a bit demoralizing that these two strangers felt the need to spend their lunch discussing my face. I am still curious as to whether or not they knew I could hear them...
I have been debating whether or not to post this, but I figured it warranted note. I know I size up a person's physical appearance regularly, but I honestly try not to. And I would NEVER talk about someone in such scrutinity with them being so close. These two dudes could have spent the time talking about how each part of me was repulsive and how much they hated looking at my face while eating. On the few quick judgements I also made about them, I wouldn't put it past their personalities to completely destroy anothers confidence intentionally or unintentionally. I was left mostly infuriated and I couldn't figure out why for a while. Again, it wasn't like they thought I had the face of Quasimodo, but I felt as if they majorly invaded my privacy. It felt as if they were looking over my shoulder as I looked in my bathroom mirror and whispered in my ear everything I was and would ever be. It is MY right to so deeply evaluate my features not two people I have nor ever will meet again. Ridiculous, right? I felt as if these two should have asked permission to look at me. I was also angry that they took all of what I am as a person and put me on their "one night stand bang able list". Again, they weren't overly crude, but just so heartless, so matter of fact. I think I was also feeling overly sensitive that Sel wasn't there to...I don't know, deflect their comments? In the end, it just strengthened my resolve to care a little less and talk a lot less about others. A lot lot less about others. Also to have the courage next time someone is talking about me to turn around and tell them to keep it to themselves, positive or negative. If I ever see them again, I will have to fight the urge to knee them between the legs...
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