Sandy Hook

When I first heard the news today about the Sandy Hook shooting, I sobbed. I pictured my precious nephew, my sweet cousins, my future perfect children going to school like those little ones did and meeting the same fate. I can't stop crying.

This feels so much darker and more terrible than anything America has experienced. The Twin Towers were different. The Okalahoma bombings was different.The men who did those bombings didn't have to look into the faces of each and everyone of their victims and make the concious choice to end another person's life. But this?

Children. Tiny. Precious. Innocent.

None of the children who were shot were over ten. The majority that died were in kindergarten. The age of my little headstarters.

I can't seem to remove my heart from this situation nor do I want to nor should anyone be able to look away from something like this unscathed.

The twenty year old man (and his potential accomplice) have more darkness in them than I could even begin to comprehend.

This wasn't a high school shooting. This kid hadn't been bullied by those little ones. From what I have read, his anger was directed toward his mother who was a kindergarten teacher.

To me, this man is one of the most evil and twisted and unforgivable people to ever live.

We talk of the evils of past and present dicatators who killed thousands. Most of these men did not actually do the deed. They gave the command and their weak and miserable followers obeyed.

This man had to look each and everyone of those 20 children and 6 teachers in the face and pull the trigger.

I don't care what anyone will say to try and lessen his hideous actions.

Maybe he was molested or raped. Inexsuable. Thousands upon thousands of people have been victims to rape and molestation and yet, those thousands have not allowed their pain to justify acts as horrendous as this.

Maybe he was beaten as a child? Maybe he was bullied by kids when he was growing up? Maybe his mom made him feel terrible about himself every single day?

I struggle to even have the smallest twinge of sympathy for him. For whatever horrible things happened to him that turned him into a deranged, heartless creature, there are hundreds out there who have gone through so much worse.

Here is a worse situation one might have gone through than him-

A parent who dropped their world off at school only to recieve a call later everything they lived for no longer existed. A tiny piece of metal destroyed their everything. Now that parent has to wake up every single day knowing the world will never look as beautiful because the most beautiful thing there ever was was stolen in a moment of unexplicable violence.

There is a belief that no one dies before they are supposed to. That everything happens for a reason.

I can't help in my moment of sadness but ask were these little ones really sent to Earth with the purpose of being murdered at the age of six? What reason, may I ask, as to why?

Maybe it will cause parents to hug their healthy, living children a little tighter tonight.
Maybe it will unite the tiny town of Newton in love and support of those who have lost these tiny angels.

Maybe people everywhere will have some sort of insight about the purpose of life and death.
Maybe someday I will be able to comprehend the purpose to such a horrific act. 

 But not tonight.

Tonight all I will be able to think about are those parents who have an empty child's bed that will never again be filled

Tonight all I will be able to do is pray that someday those parents will find comfort and still find things about the world that are beautiful.