Once upon a time there was a pigeon toed girl who was afflicted with a terrible curse. No matter what piece of technology the girl touched or even breathed near, her curse would cause it to malfunction. The severity of her curse was not fully realized until one very hot day.
(Paul Bisaro, King of Watson Pharmaceuticals)
Prince Herbert lived in a very large palace in Utah where he was trying to learn what to do after the previous Prince went to China as an ambassador.
(Prince Herbert)
It was very rare for the King to travel to the village where Pigeon worked and everyone who worked in the Salt Lake Village was very anxious about his arrival. Everyone wanted to look their very best, as did Pigeon. Pigeon, however, was a very silly girl who was always running at least five minutes late and always seemed to forget things. Her preparations took much longer than they should have on that fateful hot day and Pigeon was left running out the door without a lunch in hand. When Pigeon arrived at the village with her belly full of strawberry frosted mini wheats that her sweet cousin had gifted her, she reasoned she would be able to survive for 8 hours without food. How very, very wrong she was. Poor Pigeon is also afflicted by another debilitating curse known as, “common senseless”.
Pigeon and ten other young apprentices got to go to a special meeting with the King and ask him questions about his ascent to power. The King turned out to be a very good man in Pigeon’s opinion who did not flaunt his power as many other Kings do. He even told Pigeon she asked a good question. Pigeon will likely be promoted to Vice President of the Kingdom of Watson Pharmaceuticals very soon because of this. She will maybe even have an office that she can have her space heater on in all the time and a big window for her to stare out of. After meeting the King, Pigeon’s stomach started to sound like an underwater musical production of “Cats”. Pigeon decided she would go to ask the Baker at Subway for a 6-inch loaf of goodness. Just as Pigeon was about to pay her plastic sickle for the loaf of goodness, the Baker said in alarm “Oh no. The computer has gone down. This has never happened before” It took Pigeon a minute or two to realize why the computer had gone down. Pigeon’s curse had already taken many victims that week. Pigeon’s carriage, Old Yeller, one of the victim’s of the week was getting fixed in the magical carriage shop. Pigeon had accidentally broken the RA scanner, printer, and even microwave for a while. Her phone fairy was on strike and refused to give Pigeon her messages and kept trying to download firmware. Could Pigeon’s curse possible go as far as to break Subway’s computer. Alas, it could. A few minutes started to go by and some of the Baker’s customers began to turn into mean witches and warlocks. After twenty minutes, the customers had turned into a vicious Beast hunting mob with no Beast to hunt but the poor baker. In her angst, Pigeon turned to a very rude elderly customer and said “It’s not their fault you know.” Pigeon stared back at the old man’s fiery gaze and realized with a start how correct she was. It was not the Baker’s fault, but her fault. Her curse had taken another victim and now innocent blood was being shed. Panicked, she looked at the Baker and hoped no one would recognize her as the girl with the technology curse. The Baker merely returned her gaze with ptiy and instead of throwing her out on the streets hungry, he whispered for her to take her loaf of goodness (for free) and leave. As soon as walked out of the door, she heard the familiar ring of a cash register behind her. The curse had lifted from Subway and was on its way to claim another victim. Beware of the curse of Pigeon my friends. Beware.
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