Flabby Arm Girl

I am an Exercise Science major. Do I love it? No. Do I like it? Most days. One of the prerequisites for my major, which I unfortunately overlooked, is Jock 101. The Exercise Science major has the following demographic. 45% are BYU athletes, 55% could be BYU athletes.

Do I have anything against jocks? Generally no. I have yet to meet a fellow classmate who I whole heartedly detest. The thing about it is being in this major is a reminder every single day that I am an uncoordinated nerd who should be writing an anthropological thesis instead of studying the physiological development of skeletal muscle.

I had a lab today entitled "How Fat Are You?" (The department tried to make it sound more scientific by calling it "Lab 3: Body Composition"). I would say I have a generally healthy body image. I would be lying if I said I never have those "whale days". Those days where I consume so much chocolate (amongst other supremely healthy food items) that I begin to feel as if a whale might mistake me for a possible mate. BUT I do really love my body. It is magnificent how many wonderful things it does every single day. One thing I have always found funny about our society is how one shouldn't ever talk highly of their body. If you receive a compliment about your body, you must immediately point out something that is amiss or insist the complimenter is mistaken. One must also never point out to another that they are looking heavier than normal. Other cultures are so much more open about this aspect. I think it is because those of other cultures don't have this twisted American ideology that worth is directly tied to weight. Whoops! Getting off topic...this is not a commentary on skewed societal ideologies.

My lab is taught by a graduate student in Exercise Physiology. She is also an extreme swimmer who told us at the beginning of class that she has 9% body fat. As she was explaining how to to measure a skin fold with a caliper, she decided she needed someone to help her demonstrate. She began to scan the room for a possible subject.

Soccer player. Soccer player. Football player. Swimmer. Swimmer. Aha-the black sheep.

Instructor: "Ah. You-blue t-shirt girl. Could you come up here please?"

All of my fellow classmates swiveled to look at the person she was referring to. I looked behind my praying she was referring to someone else. Alas, no one was behind me :(

I walked grudgingly to the front of the classroom.

Instructor: "Aw you have the perfect arms for this (aka, your arm resemble an oversized bat wing). Please turn your back to the class.

I waited for the dodgeballs to mercilessly pound the back of my head, but instead something much worse happened. My instructor pinched my arm fat with a caliper and then proceeded to jiggle my arm around.

Instructor: "Now most of you will have to be more aggressive in grabbing the fat because there might be as much on your partner's arms. If there is, you should be able to jiggle it a bit like I did to loosen the layer of fat from the muscle"

I walked back to my chair hoping my arms would fall off.

I know I am supposed to be in this major, but sometimes I really, really wish my classes didn't emphasize the art of arm fat jiggling. Who knows though. Maybe zombies will attack someday and me and my flabby arms will take flight while the muscle bound athletes get their brains eaten.