Lobotomized

I have occasionally wondered how different I would be if I had a lobotomy. Would there actually be much of a difference? After today, I have come to answer that there would be a huge difference. My lobotomized self would likely have more common sense. I would probably just sit around and drool instead of deciding to cut my own hair with the kitchen scissors.

This is not a new event unfortunately. In my desperation to have the trendy new side bangs for my high school graduation, I took the kitchen scissors and ensured I was the hottest human at graduation. Which is obvious from this stunning photo

Please notice those impressive chunks of hair emphasizing my cool factor. If I wasn't so amazing at school, then I would probably pursue a career in hairdressing with an emphasis on bang cutting. (Just a quick update on my academics: I have to take my nutrition test tomorrow and abnormal psych on Monday. I dare you to ask me how much studying I got done yesterday while watching Dr. Who with Sel)

Moving on to today's incident. Last night, I had a dream I kept trying

to cut my hair with a pizza cutter while Sel explained how his high school girlfriend was abusive. After I woke up, I continued to think about my dream. Not even an AMAZING pancake breakfast cooked by Sel or scarring all my students with my favorite lecture on gender could make me forget about it. I knew what I had to do and there was no denying it; I had to chop off the end of my braid with all of it's evil split ends. After taking my hair out of it's braid, I realized my hair was lopsided. I decided to try and make it even which led to this:

and some of this

I am a genius

Sel called me just as I was about to chop off my bangs in the similar fashion to how I cut my American Girl Doll's hair. These are the thoughts that went through my head

"What if I don't tell him what I just did and just keep my hair in an eternal ponytail?"

"I bet he won't even notice if I don't tell him...hopefully...probably.."

"Maybe, he will be so impressed with my abilities that he will ask me to cut his hair in a similar fashion"

Sel wouldn't stop laughing and told me I HAD to take a

picture or he would divorce me. Okay, he didn't actually say that last part, but he was pretty insistent. Since he thought it was so funny, I thought I would give him a special little token to treasure. I am thinking of making it into a necklace for him for Christmas (P.S. He still hasn't noticed it is on his pillow yet :)

Is there a happy ending to this story? You betcha. I drove to Great Clips after my field trip with my friends from the Utah State Mental Hospital and Cassie fixed me all up. This is how our conversation went

L: "Hi. I need my hair cut."

Cassie: "Great! Sit down... That's funny...did you know you have a huge chunk of hair missing back here?"

L: "What?! Are you serious? Does that normally happen?"

Cassie: "No..."

L: "That is just so, so weird!"

I think she thought I was crazy. Maybe I fit in better with my friends from the mental hospital than I ever imagined.