Now that I am not sitting on my couch counting the number of things I should be doing: grading papers, studying for finals, cleaning our apartment, etc. I can sit on my parent's couch in Ohio with Sel doing nothing but being super happy that we dominated all of the things I normally think about doing when in P-town. Also, we got to go to Chi town for the past two days with my family and it was fantastic! We also got to go to the Ukranian village because my parents have replaced me with a beautiful Eastern European high schooler. I (take a deep breath) even ate some red meat so I wouldn't offend the kind Ukranians who prepared a scrumptious meal for us while we were there.
I now have found time to relay one of my favorite stories from our honeymoon. Our first port on our cruise was Costa Maya, Mexico. Sel and I got all geared up with the fancy red mom pouch we purchased in Florida and our pounds of sunscreen. After a beautiful snorkeling adventure, we had to decide whether to join the throng of overweight tourists wearing swimsuits two sizes too small
at the beach bar (there was a Fat Tuesdays at EVERY port we went to) or invent our own cultural excursion. Since we had a coupon for a free non-alcoholic drink at Señor Frogs, of course we had to do that. It was free, right? And if there is anything my sweet husband has to use, it is something that is free. Another defining thing about Sel, he is fantastic at saving money. He hates spending something he knows he could save. Sometimes this is great, sometimes it is not so great. Unfortunately, that day was a day that it was not so great. We decided to not pay for a taxi and walk the three miles into town. In the 100 F+ weather. As we started our walk, we were confronted with none other than a fleet of Mexican machine guns and 50 or so armed solders. I panicked and told Sel we should just go back to the boat and gain some more weight. Sel looked down at the coupon and shook his head, "Everything is fine. It is just an award ceremony. This will be fun". As we weaved our way around the machine guns, I looked up and meet eyes with a sniper hiding behind some fourth floor curtains. He stealthily slide back behind the curtains just as I tugged on Sel's hand in an attempt to get him to look at the disturbing sight. Sel shrugged and pulled me forward. We finally found the complex where Señor Frogs was, but everything was shut down because Mexico does this wonderful thing called Siesta (America NEEDS to adopt this pronto). Señor Frogs was open though. We ordered some truly nasty sugary drinks that made our dehydrated selves more thirsty. I also made the mistake of ruining the "freeness" of the drinks by tipping the bartender. Whoops.
Since we were super parched, we decided to go to one of the grocery stores we saw on our walk into town. We had a grand total of 10 pesos, which we used almost all of buying fun Mexican drinks. This was actually one of my favorite parts. No one spoke English and I didn't recognize most of the food on the shelves.
We left feeling much better and not so unhappy about our 2 mile journey in the scorching sun. We were almost to the port when a feeling of utter terror washed over me. One huge ship sat gleaming in the sun ahead of us and it wasn't ours. No other ships were in sight. Hit L's Panic Mode.
L: OHMY! OHMY! Sel where is our ship?! What time is it?
Sel: 4:00PM
L: We were supposed to be back at 3:00PM. It left us. We are stuck in Mexico. We don't speak Spanish! We don't have our passports! We don't have our phones! We have one peso! ONE PESO! That won't get us ANYTHING! We are going to die. Right here. On this sidewalk next to that humongous Iguana. When will our parents know we are gone? In 5 days? 6? We're going to die. We are pretty much already dead. I feel dead.
Sel: Our ship is behind that big one.
L: No it isn't. How could you possibly know that? Why aren't you freaking out? We have been married for ONE WEEK and we are already going to die. Why aren't you panicking?! Are you not understanding how hopeless this situation is?
Sel: Take five more steps and five deep breaths.
L: (Wringing my hands & hyperventilating) I can't. I can't. I only know four words in Spanish. None of those are "Can we please borrow your phone?" or "Where is the American Embassy?" Or "Please don't kill us and don't bother raiding our mom pouch because we just spent the little money we had with us on some really good mango juice"
Sel: L. Walk to me.
I took five shaky steps forward and saw what Sel wanted me to. Our ship. Nestled sneakily and oh so sweetly behind the huge Royal Caribbean ship.
We're still married. Can you believe that? He stuck with me even after my melt down. Know what else? That hasn't been the only time my panic button has been triggered. Sel is the best, most patient human I know. Turns out I have the best husband in the entire universe :)
Merry Christmas!!!
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