Welcoming Felix the Butler

So. I got a new phone. His name is Felix because it sounds mildly like the name of a Butler. Reasons why he is named after an imaginary technology butler will hereto be explained. Before said explanation, it is necessary to honor him who hath departed. Much to the contrary of his believed fate, Beaner 2.0 was forced into early retirement by the increasing demands of the technology workforce. I changed his background before he went to sleep of a sandy beach with a lone palm tree so he can pretend he bought a nice home in Florida with a beachfront view. Now on to Felix... We are still warming up to one another. I pretend he is my butler because he has to do anything I want him too, but I still insist on doing things old school cause I am pretty sure he and all other high tech phones are plotting a robotic take over the universe or a real life episode of Stephen King's Cell. I am torn between feeling immensely grateful that my family has the required wealth to have a butler, but Felix is a bit of a snob from his British upbringing and false sense of superiority to Beaner. I also dislike the idea that by having Felix I appear mildly snobby. First, Beaner and I had/have a simplistic, joyous relationship. He never tried to complicate our relationship by playing any silly games or allowing me to either. He had a photographic memory. Sure, he could only remember fifteen memories at a time, but those were some dang good memories. Memories of the time my whole family went blind, Sel eating a flower, the cupboard under the astronomy staircase, my nephew trying to eat Odin. Beaner was upfront about what he had to offer and I have always been into inanimate objects who are no nonsense. Beaner was humble, never too dressy and not anxious to demand attention or awe. I will deeply miss this simple minded, kind friend of mine. Felix is growing on me though....kind of. I am sure we are going to at least tolerate one another even if we never reach the coveted relationship of Bruce and Alfred.