All The King's Horses

Did you know repeated mild head injuries dramatically increase the chance of developing Alzheimer's?

Guess who probably has a 90% chance of developing alzheimer's? C'est moi.

The hardest part about accurately calculating this percentage is my inability to remember all of my concussions... Memory loss and head injuries, weird. Here is the scientific data I can most accurately use to support my probability.

Concussion 1: I was 10 and my sister adored Brittany Spears (before she caught skankitis). She begged me to hang up a poster and since I was such a star sister back in the day, I agreed. We snuck down to the kitchen and carried one of our cursed bar stools up to her bedroom. As I started taping up Brittany's sucker eating face to the wall, Brittany spit in my face and I fell back slamming my head into the bathroom door frame. Next thing I remember, I was looking up at my parent's worried faces. The major downfall (get it?) in this instance was that Brittany fell behind the dresser when I fell and took forever to retrieve.

Concussion 2: My family and I had just moved to Michigan and this wonderfully sweet girl (let's call her Meridith) invited me skiing. Me + Ski before this = falling, trees, tears, blood, frozen tears, falling. Pretty much, my track record lead me to believe I was fantastic at skiing. Meridith and I decided to go over a massive ski jump. We are talking about HUGE. As huge as a sidewalk curb. Next thing I knew, I was strapped to a stretcher being dragged by a jet ski. It took me twenty more minutes to remember why I was in Michigan and not in Kansas (go ahead. Say it. I heard it all the time after we moved to Michigan from Kansas).

Concussion 3: I am often under the impression I am ridiculously tough. Which, of course, I am. One day, I told him he needed to learn how to properly play football. Who better to teach him than the NFL's number one pick for most valuable player of every position? Me. We lined up facing one another and then my intimidating strength frightened him and we both fell to the ground. I hit my head (an unusual occurrence) and began to rant and cry and go a tinsy bit crazy. After spending the next four hours in the hospital, I got the spend the rest of the night being woken up every hour by his sweet aptly named sister.

Concussion 4: Yesterday. My sweet husband and I were crowded happily into a full house of our lovely family members. We found a spot to sit on the stairs. You know how girls have this odd propensity to be super ticklish? And then they giggle in this adorable, charming way that makes those of the male sex want to tickle them more? I have the first part down annoyingly well, but my "giggle" sounds more like a hyena being dangled off a cliff by Scar. I also having the obnoxious habit of "writhing". Sel decided to tickle me and the chain reaction of hyena laughing and writhing commenced and my head slammed back onto the wood floor. One of the things about Sel's family is that everyone is ridiculously tough. Today we watched multiple wrestling matches between our little cousins and even while they were being repeatedly slammed into the floor, they were beaming. There was no way I was going to burst into tears in front of a room full of our toughened relatives. I retreated upstairs and made the mistake of calling my parents while in hysterics. This is what I was trying to tell them "I hit my head on the stairs and it hurts and I think I have another fetching concussion". This is what my mom heard, "I feel down the stairs, am hemorrhaging, no one knows I am laying pathetically here and I need you to call Sel, and D^2, the C.I.A., Dr. Who (cause he is super awesome) and one of those 'I Survived' producers so this bit can be aired in a few weeks and make me super famous". My mother called my sweet husband and mom and dad-in-law rushed upstairs. Sel was first up and I was NOT going to the hospital which I attempted to make very clear to Sel by repeatedly saying it over and over and over and over and over AND over again. Luckily, there are two doctor's, a nurse, and a schoolteacher in the family who made sure I didn't have to go to the retched hospital. Yeah! Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankfully, the after headache was very mild and Thanksgiving Eve proved to be very happy. I have so very much to be thankful for, including a quick recovery time. I figured I would tell this entertaining story instead of a cliche list of all the things I am thankful for (though those lists are wonderful to read and write) Also, Sel is the sweetest husband in the world and I am so grateful for all he does and is.:) I love him LOTS :) Hope your Turkey Day was full of food, happiness, family, and more food!