Commentary

I should be studying for my anatomy practical tomorrow. Isn't that how it always goes though? I should be doing something else when I decide to blog.

Sel and I have interesting conversations from time to time. I usually tip toe around becoming too emotionally involved in our conversations when they are of particular interest to me. My emotional attachment to the words coming out of my mouth ensured I never did well in debate during high school. Anyway, our conversation today started after reading an article about the murder a 19-year-old muslim woman. She was brutally tortured and then strangled by her husband. The reason: she gave birth to a second daughter opposed to the son her cruel husband wanted. Another story was briefly listed of another 19-year-old who was tied up and raped by her cousin's husband. When she reported the incident and her pregnancy because of it to the police, they threw her in jail for three years. The reason: she had committed adultery by their law. She gave birth to her baby on the floor of the jail. She is doomed now to either live out the rest of her life in jail, be released and likely murdered for bringing such a dishonor to her family, or marry the man who raped her to legitimize the birth of her daughter.

Having studied anthropology fairly extensively for the past few years, I appreciate and love differences in all types of culture. This, however, is disgusting. This is wrong. Everyone, no matter what their background, should see this for what it is.

In our conversation, Sel and I came back to the fact that America isn't too far off from these backward Afghan ideologies. How often does a girl who gets raped get the blame? She drank too much or was wearing too revealing of clothing. Many victims hold back from reporting rape because they are made to feel like it was their fault. After an hour or so of discussion of whether the victim could have avoided the situation or not, Sel and I reached a bit of a conclusion on how current societal ideologies of sex are to blame. I really want to be able to express my true thoughts on this, but know my actual thoughts are weakened by my inability to properly verbalize these emotions. I beg you not judge me too harshly as I know I might not come across the way I want to.

There is a problem with how casual an act sex has become. Lust has replaced love and respect and devotion. Strangers are giving one of the most personal aspects of their selves to one another. A piece of them forever given to another they may never speak to again. Some claim casual sex with multiple partners has no effect on them whatsoever. It is liberating. No remorse. No regret.No emptiness. Maybe they are telling the truth, but I have a hard time fully believing it.

Rape is obviously a different situation. The part of that victim's soul is being stolen through a violent physical act. I am not trying to say the victim is at fault in anyway. I am saying the opposite. I am saying this issue goes beyond just a single victim and a single rapist. Society is not what it should be. There are plenty of things people criticize almost hourly about today's society. A lot is centered on politics and what fault is to be placed on whom. I know it might not be as plausible as evaluating how to fix the national debt, but attention should be paid to the issue of society's current ideas about sex. The more skin the better, fashion seems to say. Men can become manlier by having sex with as many partners as possible. One night stands are totally acceptable. In watching a T.V. show over Christmas break, I was shocked by all the things that happened in one episode. Three high school friends decided to have a three-some and on a another story line, a fifteen-year old was plotting how to properly give her virginity away to a 19-year-old drug dealer. Oh and the father of the fifteen-year-old was having an affair with a neighbor. I don't feel as if I am being prudish by pointing out that this is an issue. Teen Mom is one of the most popular shows on MTV. Girls in Jr. High admire and aspire to be like these poor girls who must forever live with the life changing responsibility and duty of caring for a child while still being one themselves.

Sometimes when I think about the way things are now in America and in the world, I feel hopeless. I think of the broken families with broken hearts. Americans hoping their paycheck will last them till the next one. I think of the civil war in Uganda. A seemingly never-ending war of violence and death and heartache. I think of Romanian orphans who stare at gray walls in stale beds with little hope of having more than a few minutes of human contact a day. I think of the women in Afghanistan who are killed for giving birth to a child of the "wrong" gender. Of these women who are by some twisted law to blame for being taken advantage of.

I know I sound gloomy, but I promise I am getting to the good part. When I feel this hopelessness, this feeling that I want so desperately to fix everything wrong in the world, I remember where my hope lies. I don't care what religion one reading this might be, but if you have one, I know you know the world has light in it. Even if you don't believe in God, I bet you know there are people, lots of people, who are amazing and beautiful and are fixing this world one person at a time. You probably are one of those spectacular people. A belief in a world without rape and murder and suffering is not religiously exclusive. Human beings alike want happiness no matter what their background. I come from the background of being a Mormon. Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ is my hope. My everything. Following it's teachings has given me a sense of indescribable peace. A knowledge that everything is not lost. It will never be lost. Morality and humanity have not completely evaporated. More people in the world than not still care. Being married to Sel and knowing how wonderful a permanent, eternal relationship is makes me want to tell everyone they can have it to. Cause they can. They can feel as happy and grateful and hopeful as I do. I know I am just going on and on, but I really wanted to try at least a little to express something deeper than my usual injury/awkward stories. It might be obvious right now why I don't try to do this more often because I just can't seem to capture what I want to...All the same, hope you are having a brilliant day! (and studying/doing the things you should be doing opposed to putting it off like I have...)

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