You Really Know How to Dance

This is a long one because I am using my blog to console myself. I have a bit of separation anxiety from Sel. Since we have been married, we have only spent two nights apart from one another on separate occasions. This week, we will have spent three whole long nights away from each other. I have been staying in Idaho the past couple days to help Kit get all squared away for her internship and it has been fantastically fun, but made me miss my man a whole bunch. In light of missing him, I decided it would be a grand time to talk about some of the wonderful things that I adore about him. 

1. The reason we are apart for these few days is because he had to be in P-town for all of the responsibilities he has taken on recently. He is doing an internship with the Volunteer Medical Care Clinic on Tuesdays and Thursdays for two hours in the mornings and three hours in the evening. He is volunteering everyday now at Headstart for three hours. He volunteers for five hours on Wednesday nights (5pm-10pm) at the American Fork Hospital. He is also organizing all of his med school application information and studying for the GMAT in his "spare" time. Doesn't that list make you feel exhausted? Even though he has the motherload of daunting tasks, he still manages to be this magnificent, fun, and loving human. He is always excited to share a fun story from his hours of selflessness and never, ever complains. In fact, he is always sure to express his gratitude for all the different things he gets to experience. Now that is a man folks. 

2. He is the most playful human I have ever met. This past week all he and his bro did was whack each other with ninja sticks and poke one another in church. I am so appreciative that Sel can perfectly balance when it is appropriate to be responsible manbeast and playful manchild :) most of the time at least ;) I read somewhere adults only laugh 10 or so times a day. With Sel, I laugh 10 times every hour I get to spend listening to him or being with him. His humor brightens my life daily.

3. He is ALWAYS putting my needs first. He has probably spent more time researching the things I am interested in doing than I have. He makes sure I know all the time that I mean more to him than anything. 

4. He is so humble. He is more accomplished and talented and brilliant than he will ever let on. He is like no other human being I have ever met and yet, he lacks the arrogance and pride that can so easily accompany all sorts of success. 

5. He talks about my cooking like I am a female version of Emeril. I am learning and enjoying it, but I have a looooong way to go before I can fully measure up to the way he describes my abilities. 

6. His kind heart is breathtaking. He is so thoughtful and willing to help others. He can be cheap beyond belief sometimes, but most of these inhibitions of spending money disappear when he knows it will be truly helping another

7. He likes Llamas. 

8. He is a great kisser. Yup. Don't even feel awkward saying it because it is the truth. Sometimes he  makes my heart skip a few beats when he grabs me, dips me, and plants one square on my mouth. Makes me feel dizzy and not in my low blood pressure, low heart rate type of way :) Best part, it is always unexpected even though he does it frequently. 

9. Great cuddler. That is the hardest part about being away from him is the nighttime. I miss curling up against his side with my head on his chest or arm, the sound of his heartbeat lulling me to sleep. 

10. He encourages me to buy things. I have been meaning to buy new shoes since December but keep chickening out cause I HATE the idea of spending our money on clothes, shoes, hair, ect. Sel is the one that pushed me to buy a pair of Chacos today and told me to not worry at all about the price. At all. I have never heard of a man encouraging his wife to spend whatever she wants on silly shoes. 

11. He makes me feel stunning. Drop dead gorgeous. Let's be honest for a moment and own up to the fact that I am not some breathtaking goddess. With Sel, however, I am paid compliment after compliment on my skin or hair or smile or laugh or body or my hands even. He tells me I have the most lovely hands he has ever seen. I will catch him staring at me from time to time and when I ask him what he is looking at he says the world's most beautiful creation. Gah, so sweet it almost sounds fake, huh?

12. So, so SO thoughtful. This boy planned on what to get me for my birthday last November. He goes big or he goes home. I just got a BEAUTIFUL sewing machine for my birthday that he helped pick out with my wonderfully sweet in-laws in February and carefully hid it in our second bedroom until last week. He even took the time to sign me up for sewing lessons at a shop right by our apartment so I don't sew my "lovely hands" into the skirt pattern I just got. 

13. He is so patient. I am a notorious baby. The other day, I stubbed my toe on a sprinkler, collapsed in a pile, and cried. Sel, instead of telling me to get over it and get up, sat down next to me and held me until I stopped blubbering.

14. He is ridiculously strong. Always knew I wanted a real man. Not some scrawny, skinny skeleton that made me feel like a beached whale. Not that skinny ment aren't manly in their own way, but Sel just exudes pure masculinity. The men in my family are all big, strong fellows and I am glad I found one who fits in perfectly. Also, nothing cooler than being picked up and carried around like a rag doll by your husband. That man can lift ridiculous amounts of weight (aka me)
15. He is so freaking adorable with little kids. He loves them and they love him so much. We actually had a tinsy argument the other day about whose headstarters were cuter and he was so adament in insisting his little ones were the best in the universe.

 Look at this picture first of him being such an adorable little batman and second of him being SO ADORABLE with his new baby brother. We aren't ready yet for kids, but these make me want to have babies RIGHT NOW if they will come out being identical twins to this little squirt. We get in little joke tiffs about how he wants our kids to look like me, but I don't care if they look anything like me. I was bald for crying out loud. I want them to have his heart melting smile and cheeks and dimples and eyes and hair and EVERYTHING. Seriously, who wouldn't want a child that resembled this little angel?

16. He loves me. Whenever I ask him what he is doing, he always responds "loving you" before telling me what he is actually doing. Is it selfish to list the fact that he loves me as a reason I love him?  I don't think so because I love this boy more than I could ever describe. He is more perfect for me than I could have ever dreamed and I know with more surety than most things in my life that Heavenly Father made sure we found each other at the perfect time in the perfect place :) I am so grateful that on the best day of my life I was sealed to this treasure of a human being. That our lives started together with a promise of forever and the greatest happiness that could ever be. I keep thinking back to our wedding day and what it was like to kneel across from him at the alter and all I could do was cry with joy. I can't remember a whole lot about that day, but I will never, ever forget (even in my alzheimer state of oldenhood) the burning in my soul that everything that mattered in my life-what had been and what would be-was defined by that moment, by that beautiful man promising to be mine for eternity. So funny that I ever cared about flowers or my dress or my hair or invitations or what food to have at the reception and luncheon. Nothing else mattered but being in the temple with him and our beloved families for those few minutes that defined everything about our marriage.

I know I am pathetic. I don't need you to tell me that. You know what though, I LOVE IT! Never thought I would be this pathetic, romantic mess, but I find it isn't as awful as I always suspected it to be. TOMORROW SEL COMES BACK!!! Hope you are in love with someone or yourself. If not, I find Iguanas and Llamas to make extremely lovable creatures. 

(Final)ly

Done. Done. DONE! I am done with my finals! I still cannot believe this semester is over. My last full semester of college. Still have three years of graduate school, but hey, I accomplished something, right?

Did you know miracles happen? True story. Pretty much every semester I have a mini panic attack where I know I am totally going to bomb a class. I have nightmares about it until the glorious day when grades are finally posted. Like today! Functional Anatomy was looking to backhand me, but it fetching lost. Holla! I did a dance around Kit's room when I found out that class is forever behind me. Don't get me wrong, it was a pretty awesome class. The cadaver lab was infinitely better than 220's lab, but lecture made me want to add my eyes to the specimen pile.

Orthopedic impairments = Fabulous! I feel as if I learned something useful and applicable to any career I purse. Also helped me learn about why I walk "funny". It's called internal tibial torsion, excessive pronation of my subtalar joint, and increased femoral anteversion folks. Should have had those guns loaded years ago to fire off at my lowly elementary school peers who thought recess was a good time to through kickballs at the gangly girl who walked "funny".

Peoples of India = Bam! 15 page research paper on surrogacy in India was fantastically entertaining to write. I got to visit the Hindu temple with this class, eat Brahmin food at Dr. Nuckolls house, and BEST PART Dr. Nuckolls agreed to write me a letter of recommendation for Grad school. This was the last class finishing off my minor in Anthro. and I couldn't have picked a better one. Sad that my anthro classes are over though. Pretty much my favorite part of my college education

Sculpting: Already talked about it. Already miss the art studio.

Human Development (Psych): I still feel a bit cheated in this class. I had such high hopes for learning tons of interesting things, but that is hard to do when your professor only holds class seven times in the semester. At least I get to keep the book and keep evaluating the developmental levels of babies :)

Sel's Wife: Still waiting to see how I did on the final, but I know that Sel got an A+ in being my husband :) It doesn't really matter what I got in any of my classes or what classes I actually took cause I had this man hugging me at the end of the day either way. Sel has been such a magnificent cheerleader, quizzer, chef, comedian, attractive thing to admire after staring at unattractive corpses, and most of all, my best friend. Yeah, I know it's corny. Shut up. It's true.

Now on to some of exciting things happening shortly:

Going Here

I know the last time this happened, it didn't go so well, BUT this time with Sel and friends it will not end with Caitlin almost dying.

Going to try some more of this out with Selface

DEFINITELY going here. Oh how I love thee Moab :) I am coming home soon! I am aiming to do all the hikes in the guide this time around. Even Fiery Fetching Furnace! Camping + Hiking + Moab + Sel = Best Summer Ever.

Some friends, Sel and I are also going to be hiking this again. Behold-Angel's Landing.

Wishing to go here (Goblin Valley).

Doing another one of these. Top of Utah Marathon in Logan. SO excited to start hitting all the fun trails and exploring the mountains on my long runs. Aw, I didn't think I would say this, but gracious I have missed those 12 milers in the woods.

Taking a road trip to Ohio to see this pretty girl graduate

And then going here for another adventure (Mackinac Island)

And then heading up north to see these adorable humans and kiss that little boy's chubby cheeks :)

Having another one of these (Family Reunion) with this little one who is now THREE.

And somewhat unfortunately, spending a lot of time doing this

So I can take this (And look like the confused black girl on the cover)

Let the Summer Games being! May the odds be EVER in your favor :)

Becoming a Ghost

I used to have nearish death experiences for a long span of my life, but this past year has been mildly uneventful. I think it is because Sel keeps me distracted from myself. Two incidents this week though have made me wonder if my little spark for disaster is still kindling.

On Friday, I had my very last meeting with the professor I have TA'd for for the past two years. It was kind of sad, but mostly awesome because Dr. Crandall always provides pizza for his handful of assistants. Anyway, I decided to walk home in the rain instead of calling Sel because it was only a light drizzle when I left campus. Suddenly, a huge onslaught of rain and hail decided to annoy my short sleeved, skirt wearing self. I picked up the pace only to be stranded at a corner waiting for the light to change. Cue rapist van driver. This blue, beaten up van rolls on up next to me and a heavily bearded man (aka pedophile beard) asks me if I want a ride. At that moment, I was just touched by his kindness. I knew I likely resembled a wet kitten and he was just a nice guy who liked to save drowning mammals. I politely declined his offer and told him I lived right across the street as I pointed my finger in that direction.

Rapist: Which one?

Me: What? (The hail was getting louder)

Rapist: Which house?

Me: Um, the gray one. (Lie)

Rapist: See you around

See you around? Hopefully whoever does live in that random gray house does not get a visit from pedophile beard.

Now on to the serious business. The business that can't be mistaken as a weird dude just being nice.

Sel and I went on a walk last night and visited an old LDS church from the late 1800's. It was absolutely stunning! I wish the architecture of the past was apart of the buildings we use today. On our way down from the second floor, Sel suggested I take a picture of the beautiful spiral staircases. I wasn't even thinking and started walking backward to get them in the frame. Suddenly Sel's face turned ashen and he reached out for me. My foot hit the wood paneling barely reducing the momentum that was about to throw me backward over the railing to the first floor. I wish I could describe better how it happened, but just know it was terrifying. The rest of the night was spent talking about what would have happened had I died in front of Sel. (My number one thought was that maybe my functional anatomy prof. would agree to put a fancy A on my transcript in honor of my deceased memory) Cheerful, eh? It would have been pretty poetic though to die in an old church in front of man I love.

On a more joyful note, ONE FINAL LEFT!!!

Sculpting

I am so depressed to say this, but today was the last day of our sculpting class. I haven't talked much about it on here, but this has been a life changing class for me. We almost dropped it the first day because we were positive I was going to accidentally kill everyone. Guess what though?! I survived! Sel and I both got our fair share of bruises, cuts, burns and so forth, but we still have all our appendages. Please applaud now. I know you are thinking you don't actually have to applaud, but I am serious. Do it. Now. No, seriously....Thank you :)

This was our conceptual art project on the feeling of hopelessness. Sounds cheery, no? Sel got to shoot people in the head with a nerf gun. This was also his favorite class of the semester ;)

Kit so kindly volunteered to be shot in the head

Sel cutting our rocks up

I was the lucky one who got the beautiful red one. Sel's was gorgeous also and as you can see below, his talent far outshines my own:)

Our first project was sculpting five pieces in wax. We presented them and picked one to cast in bronze. Here are some that we decided not to cast.

Sel's piece of us :O

Mine of us

This was my favorite piece, conceptually and structurally, but it would have been really difficult to cast.

This is Sel's piece that he decided to cast. The two batteries that keep him functioning, sleep and food.

My piece I decided to cast

Pouring molten hot bronze. Ask me if I felt amazingly cool doing this

Sel forging his steel piece

This was Sel's favorite piece to do :) As soon as we bought these Sel got to work popping their heads off. I love that my sweet husband will never let go of his adorable little boy self :)

I wish I could actually express how much this class meant to me. How it reached inside of me and pulled my soul out so I could finally see it. I will miss this new found part of me, but am so happy for the one in a lifetime chance Sel and I had to do this .

Faith & Easter

Happy Easter! Today has been a blissful and blessed one due to my loving aunt and uncle's kind efforts. They fed us muffins in the morning, organized a scavenger hunt outside in the perfect weather, organized an indoor Easter egg hunt (where our childhood personalities remerged as we elbowed Mugs & Mikey around and I actually shoved Mugs face down into a bean bag to get an egg.Got it. Won.), let us come to their wonderful ward, fixed one heck of a fancy dinner and shared their testimonies with us.

The real point of this post, however, is to talk about my reaction to a friend's comments about how silly based he found Easter. This friend of mine has always been a very intellectual and kind person who has never found much worth in religion. Some of his comments were aimed at ridiculing how impossible the resurrection of a human being is and how awful he finds faith, that it is not a virtue, "but an intellectual failure, and a characteristic to be mocked. Someone who is prepared to believe in virgin births, zombie sons of gods, talking snakes, water turning into wine, etc. without rigorous evidence should not expect respect for their beliefs from society, and should not expect the right to declare those beliefs openly without being challenged and criticized by others"

When I read this, instead of feeling offended, I felt an intense strengthening of my own testimony. He is correct in the belief that Christ's life and resurrection seem impossible, illogical. Is that not the point? Is that not what is the most remarkable aspect of the Savior's life? Is that no one else could do it. He only could shake the foundation of our mortal beliefs of what was and is possible. The impossible becomes the possible through Jesus Christ. One can ridicule, mock, criticize all he or she desires and it will not change this fact that it happened. I might not be able to provide statistical evidence of such, but I know it happened. I don't follow blindly with a hope and a belief in an intangible fable of imagination. I know that Jesus Christ rose from the tomb. I know He lives now. I know my heart is beating, but I can't see it. I can't hold it in my hands and slowly traces it's vessel, but I can feel it's presence every second of every hour. The same idea is held with the Savior. I cannot yet trace the imprints in His hands and feet and side, but I can feel Him every single second of every hour of my life. He is what keeps me alive and defines every breath I take.

I might not be the best one in the world to defend the faith of billions of others who also acknowledge this day as celebrating the most beautiful event that has ever occurred, but I do know He lives. I do know that no matter whatever is said to try and persuade me that I am illogically following authority figures, I won't ever believe it. I will, however, respect those opinions held of others. I will do my best to love them the way they deserve.

I hope no matter what your faith or lack thereof, that you had a Happy Easter.

Blowing Up the Kitchen

One of the first things that attracted me to Sel was not only that he was an AMAZING cook, but that he loved it. He had/has such a classy taste and he loves fruits and vegetables which are the two food groups I love more than anything. The past 8 months of Warden cooking have been more fantastic than I could ever imagine. Sel is always complimentary even if it certainly isn't the best. See, I was always shooed out of the kitchen whenever I picked up a pan because there was a 99.6% chance I would blow up our entire house (luckily I only blew up the microwave once...right, mom?) BUT I have become so much better. I no longer only make soup and steamed vegetables.

This is what our kitchen table looks like after we go grocery shopping (which happens to be one of our favorite things to do) Yeah for Winco!!!

We recently tried this: Dragon Fruit. We didn't particularly love it. It tastes like a bland kiwi, but it certainly looks amazing.

Two of my more recent dinners were homemade corn tortillas with red lentils, "spanish rice"-I made some homemade salsa and cooked it in with the rice (Sel's idea), peppers, and fat-free plain yogurt with chili powder, lime juice, and paprika for seasoning.

It got put on our favorite recipe list

The other recent recipe was vegetarian lasagna. I loved the recipe, but Sel wasn't too keen to add it. The recipe called for lemon zest and nutmeg which made the lasagna more tangy than typical recipes. Sel thought it tasted like Tutti Fruti's :)

spinach with ricotta cheese & nutmeg

homemade tomato sauce with carrots, mushrooms, green and red peppers, and the yellow stuff is the lemon zest