Sel is a saint for multiple reasons. Number one was yesterday. Yesterday was a gloomy day because sometimes my brain forgets to think logically and realize the sky is NOT falling. Here is a text I sent Sel in the A.M.
Me “Waaa! If you hadn’t been cute and made me breakfast today it would be the worst day ever. No computer access again today even after being on hold for an hour and my supervisor is gone all day again and I am fat and am ruining your life because I am needy and destroying your happiness cause I am a negative Nancy pants and I am just going to become a homeless person cause I am a street rat and I DO buy that and I also don’t have any friends because I am awful at texting or calling them back even though I love them and actually do want to be friends and I also I am dumb and smell bad and my armpits sweat an abnormal amount and my feet are too fat for normal shoes and my bangs make me look like that creepy old lady from the Anti-Smoking billboards with the hole in her throat and we should never have kids cause I will be an awful mom and then our kids will hate me and then you guys will move to Bermuda and I will live in a park with birds except I won’t end up saving a little boy from two thieves he is trying to outsmart again and also all the sadness in the world.”
Sel: “You’ll never be homeless because you always have a home in my heart”
Me: “I am too fat to fit in your heart”
Woof! Right? If anyone can even read through that without slapping me back into reality, they also earn a badge of sainthood. Guess how Sel responded instead of being like “Babe, take a chill pill and realize how awesome your life is”? He sent me flowers at work. Beautiful flowers. Flowers that take your breath away with their vibrant colors and beautiful, unique shapes. To top it all off those flowers were in a plum colored vase we get to keep.
The poor flower man got to encounter an awkward moment with a crazy lady for the day. When he walked into the office with those bursting colors of love, I stood up and tried to hug him…He stepped back as if I had tried to taser him. He asked if I was Elle and then I started tearing up a little bit and whispered an affirmative, which he didn’t hear. Which meant he had to ask me if Elle was in the office then because these were for her and not the psycho receptionist who had just tried to hug him. When it finally got across that they were for me, this is how our conversation went.
Me: “Thank you so much! You are so nice!” (While starting to cry a tinsy bit more)
Flower Dude: “They aren’t from me.”
Me: “Ya, I know. It’s just really nice of you to bring them to me”
Flower Dude: “It’s my job. I get paid to do it”
Me: “Well, you have a really nice job and you are nice to do something nice as your job”
Flower Dude: “Um, I gotta go”
He and I are going to be best friends for life. One last time, let’s turn the focus back to that really, really sweet man who is WAY WAY WAY too good to me.
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