Big Girl Job

I got a call two weeks ago that left me flattered, confused, and a tinsy bit intimidated. Kelly Services was looking for a new recruiter and decided I sounded like a good candidate. The recruiter they have now is pretty much a legend in her field which means I have HUGE shoes to fill. In fact, this amazing recruiter was the one who told Kelly I would be a good fit to take over her job. Whoa! I was flattered beyond belief after the phone call and floated around on a little bubble of happy delight for the rest of the day.

I interviewed a week afterward and boy oh boy! It was the hardest interview I have ever had. It makes sense though, because all my past positions haven't been as demanding. The hardest part of the interview was answering questions I hardly know the answer to myself. Questions like, "Where do you see your career taking you in the next ten years?" or "What do expect will be your greatest accomplishments in the next ten years?"

Pretty much, I don't know where I see myself tomorrow let alone in my career.

That word at the end, career, has such a funny taste. When I think career I see business suits and long hours and a driven sense of purpose and success.

How to you tell someone your dream is to live in Africa or India helping kiddies who need it? Or that your dream is to spend your days painting or sculpting even though you suck at it? Or that your greatest accomplishments will be being married to the world's greatest husband and mother to the world's best kids?It's been such a weird rollar coaster of emotions lately. Some I can put into words, some I can't and some I won't. I know this seems such a silly reaction to such a great opportunity, but it has left me feeling even more lost and confused about what direction I should be heading. That feeling has been hanging over both Sel and I for the past few weeks. We are still waiting to hear back from medical schools and it is straight up no fun. We have been coming up with back up plans for his career and to be honest, it has left me feeling like a side dish.

Since we certainly aren't supposed to hop on the baby train yet, I feel like my purpose is percieved as meaningless. Sel never EVER EVER makes me feel that way. He is always encouraging and comforting and perfect, but he has his own things to consider. He will be the breadwinner someday and his bread will be a lot heartier than what I am bringing in right now. But I am still bringing in the bread...and that still matters.

I think the reason this is all pouring out right here is that this new position I am taking on whispers of something more solid, permanent and purposeful than any of my past ones. It feels like a very solid step in a direction I have only been tip toeing around before. Yet, this step would be removed the second we found out Sel was accepted to medical school and whatever footprint starting to form will just be washed away.

Don't get me wrong, our journey is brimming over with joy. All these seemingly not so fun things are soft shadows in the background of our usually colorful, happy life. We get to spend time every single day with our siblings who are the best friends anyone could ever ask for. We have the time everyday to work out. We have family so close and they are so wonderful. We have adventures planned and daily thrills. Sel and I somehow grow even closer with each passing day. Our religion gives us purpose and insight everyday. We are so lucky to go to the temple regularly and church weekly and read scriptures together daily. So, don't go thinking I am not immensly grateful or happy. Or that I am not excited to start this new job. I just am working through some behind the scenes things right now :) Wish me luck for next week!

Showing my Scars

WARNING: This covers a very sensitive topic in my life. Please keep that in mind before you decide to read this.

I have been trying to write this post for a long, long time. I haven't been able to find exactly what to write because I have been afraid. Very, very afraid of the reaction. There are so many factors to consider and feelings to worry about. But, now more than ever, I feel it needs to be said. It needs to be said for so many reasons that I will explain as I go on. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to write so know I chose my words as carefully as I could (and that my hands shook the entire time I tried to type this).

When I was a little girl I was sexually abused. The woman who babysat my little sister and I at the time had a teenage son who regularly "watched" me while she tended to the younger kids. He would take me in the basement and make me do things I wish I could forget.

I haven't forgotten though. I haven't forgotten any of it for the past sixteen years.

The boy who did this ended up committing suicide a few years later. I sometimes wonder if he hadn't taken his life how I would have come to feel about all that happened to me. Would the rage and white hot anger I used to experience still be here instead of the pity I feel for him now? Would I have learned to forgive him any less had he still been alive?

This moment in my life has defined parts of  me. It made it hard for me to relate to kids my own age. It made me feel constantly guilty. I still remember the day I was baptized (when you are 8 in the LDS faith) and praying that I would finally feel clean. It makes me so very sad that my eight-year-old self who should have been in one of the most innocent and pure stages of life was carrying such a heavy burden. I constantly felt and sometimes feel as if there was something wrong with me that caused this to happen. It was hard with my family because I didn't know exactly why, but I knew whatever had happened was wrong and that I couldn't tell them (the boy made me promise I would never tell anyone).

Eventually I was able to tell my parents and they got me a wonderful counselor. I think back about what they went through too and it was horrible. I know they both felt as if they hadn't protected me or something else that is completely not true. My parents did everything for me. They are the ones who have continuously pulled me through this. One of the lessons I've learned from this is that everyone has free agency and we can't control anyone else no matter how much we want to.

The counselor I had was wonderful. In fact, she was the one who had me start reading Harry Potter. Whether necessarily good or not, it was she who helped me discover you could create a world no one else could touch. You could escape into a place separate from your own life if only you could imagine it. Imagining myself as strong or brave or invincible helped me cope with the fact that I most certainly wasn't at that point in my life.

This experience also gave me a crutch I leaned too heavily on most of my life. If I had relationship issues, it was because I was abused. If I had any negative emotion, it was because I was abused. If anything went wrong in my life it somehow related to being molested.

Why am I saying this? Why here? Why now? Why on this very, very public blog?

Because I am not alone. I am very sadly very much not alone. The more I have talked with others and heard their stories, the more I have found out how much of the majority I am. Yet everyone I have spoken with about their abuse has some part of them that believes they are alone. They believe very few have also experienced one of the darker sides of humanity. It took me a while to realize this. Once I did, it threw me deeply into depression. Into that horrible feeling of lacking power or control over my life and lacking the power to keep others from that same harm, those same scars.

I have come to realize something though. All of those who have been sexually molested have been broken. They have had something stolen from their soul they will never get back. Some fill that gaping broken piece with things that threaten to break other parts of them. Others, though, figure out the only way to fill that hole is by stuffing it full of compassion and forgiveness and strength.

Another thing I have realized is that I shouldn't have to keep a secret like this. Isn't that what hurt me the most as a child? Having to keep a secret so dark and so painful. Isn't he still winning, still causing me to suffer if I fear to ever utter what he did to me? Why do we have to whisper the word "rape" or "abuse" or "molested"? Shouldn't those who have experienced such things be able to feel as if they can talk about it without feeling even more horrible than they already do?

I hate more than anything in the entire world finding out about more people who have had their life torn apart by sexual abuse, but I love hearing about those who have figured out how to not let it define them. To be honest, hearing others who have been able to overcome it all and live a life without the memory constantly hanging over them is what has helped me the most to find peace.

 The last thing I have learned very, very slowly to accept is that this moment in my life does not define me.

 I am not a solely a victim of sexual abuse.

How can I let myself be defined by one horrible memory. How can I let myself lean on something when so many others have gone through worse and come out ever better, even more beautiful, even stronger.

I wrote this today because I don't ever want anyone to feel as I did. As if they have to hide this shameful part of them and can only reveal it in a moment of dramatic conversation. If sexual abuse victims keep quiet as so, so many do, it is only giving the abuser more power.

I wouldn't say I am grateful for this experience in my life, but I am grateful for what I have taken from it. What I, with the agency I was given, chose to take from it.

The only thing I used to think I would ever take from this experience was that people were inherently evil and children no longer had a chance in this day and age to experience true, blissful innocence.

Instead, I have discovered a deeper empathy and compassion that I hardly know what to do with sometimes. The only thing in life I can confidently say I am is compassionate. I don't know that without this experience I would have such an overwhelming care for others.

I am very protective of the ones I love. Especially those who are younger than me. I don't know if I would have such a strong urge to shield others had I not gone through this.

I want to understand people. I have learned from this there are always more parts to discover that make up the whole. No one can be easily fit into perfectly square, labeled boxes. I don't know if I would be as understanding of others had I not been one hiding my whole story.

I have such a deep love for those around me. For those around me and not around me who are harboring their own secrets and their own struggles. I have such a fierce desire to help others for I truly know "everyone you meet is fighting a great battle".

There it is. My heart, my soul, my past in tiny little characters for the internet to now have possession of. I am afraid to push the publish button, but I am more afraid that the world will continue to have this close mouthed view on how to approach sexual abuse. I am more afraid for the girl or guy who thinks they don't have anyone else who could ever understand what they went through or is going through. I am more afraid that I won't believe I can do something, no matter how small, to make sexual abuse that tiny bit less prevalent.

And I think now I am ready to let going of being afraid.  

27 Hugs for Mugs

I really don't know why I get to be so blessed. Not only do I have the best family in the world, but also the best friends in the world AND they are completely interchangable. For example, today is my cousin's birthday who also happens to be one of my very best friends. She is the big 2-7 and dang proud about it too. This girl has been with me through everything! Getting stuffed into fluffy halloween costumes as youngins, fishing and camping with our families for years on end, crazy family reunions, the awkward, chubby pre-teen stages we both pretend didn't happen, Disneyland trips, break ups, freak outs, and everything in between.  I try and think what my life would be like without her and it straight up sucks...cause in that scenario I end up in a mental institution because she keeps me sane when I am trying my hardest to be crazy. Whelp, here you go cuz! I hope 27 is the best year of your entire life thus far. Love you TONS!!!! 

 

1.       You are the most organized human I have ever met which makes any space you get your hands on a better, happier, cleaner place.

2.       You are so beautiful! You have all the natural aspects of beauty, but you also know how to emphasize them

Someday we too will have crazy lawn art like Grams

3.       You don’t do anything half way. You either love something or you hate it. Which, if you think about it, is awesome because it makes life a lot easier if you can be decisive and know what you really want.

4.       You are loud and I love it. I love going with you places and having everyone stare at the loud, laughing girls in the corner

5.       You love to laugh. This world needs more laughter and you are always ready to share some. Your humor and love of all things humorous (Psych, Pitch Perfect, you name it) makes you such a fun person to be around

6.       You are uncommonly kind. You go out of your way to show those you love just how much you love them

7.       Your spirituality and willingness to serve is breathtaking.  I will never, ever, until the day I die forget the day you called me to tell me how you and the rest of the family had fasted that day for me. It was one of the sweetest and most powerful answers to my prayers I have ever experienced.

Remember how you always look cute and I always end up perpetually in the Chrome Dome

8.       You are such a solid friend to me and all your other ones. As I said, you either love something or you hate it. And when you love something or someone, you are so strictly loyal and loving to them. How lucky for me that I get to have you as a friend forever J

9.       You love, love, love to help people. You are never short of advice and you are great at giving it. I can remember so many instances (as in yesterday) where you put on your expert hat and share what you know.

10.   You are such a good validator. Whenever I am having an awful day or am frustrated about something that we both know is ridiculous, you still validate my feelings. I seriously don’t know what I would do without you some days.

11.   You have got some serious style. It is amazing to see the outfits you construct down to every perfect accessory. I love that you love your style too. Own it girl!

I believe this was from our Aquarium Day trip. Look at your EYEBALLS! So fetchin gorgeous!

12.   You make everyone feel so comfortable. You call your home my home too. You made Mike feel so at home the second I told you we were dating and it helped him feel so welcome to the family J

13.   I don’t think I could have gotten married without all your help. You earned the title of Sainthood from all those weekly crying fits leading up to it and planning the bachelorette party and doing EVERYTHING the day of the wedding. Seriously, I will owe you forever on this one

14.   You are such a thoughtful present giver. It is so fun to see the light in your eyes when you are scheming the perfect present. I will love my straightener till the day I die!

15.   I love how you love being healthy. Our Saturday Zumba sessions (now with running) are THE BEST! It is so nice to have someone to swap running tales with and someone to create them with too!

16.   You know how to take control of a situation. You have a remarkable ability to just settle everyone by taking charge and taking charge the right way.

Almost as good looking as the one we took at Scott's

17.   You share EVERYTHING! And you do it so lovingly. I can hardly count the number of outfits I have borrowed from you. And how many times have you “rusked” my hair?

18.   You are amazingly good natured. As a member of our family, you are guaranteed to be very “lovingly” teased. Not only do you take the jokes made endearingly about you, but you can dish them out too.

19.   Your taste in movies, shows, and books is fantastic and luckily very comparable to mine J Which, of course, makes it the best. HP ALL THE WAY!

20.   You are so driven to accomplish anything and everything you put your mind to. As mentioned in Numero 3, you don’t do anything half way and that includes your goals.

21.   It’s really cute to see how much you love animals and how much work (and success) you have had with not-so-little Maxikins

22.   You are such a family girl. You always put your family first! Which is seriously lucky for me that I get to slip into that category too J

23.   You are one tough outdoorsy chicka! SO many (if not all…) of my camping memories involve you.

24.   Going along with 23, you are so adventurous. You are ALWAYS up for a new, last minute adventure. Like hiking angel’s landing in Zions or doing a half marathon in Moab or camping in Arches.

Remember how I feel short all the time when I am around you?

25.   I don’t know how, but you always seem to say something during trips that sparks a new catch phrase that wraps those trips up in fond memories. “I wannagoto the beach!” is probably my all-time favorite

26.   You make people (like me) feel happy to be themselves. You are always so complimentary especially of traits I wouldn’t normally be proud of. Thank you so much for loving my weirdo self J

27.   You manage to make everyone’s lives that little brighter and happier and better. You have so many gifts and you are always striving to better them and gain others.

Best picture ever taken. Ever. One of our proudest moments for forever :)

Pollock and I

I have been trying to sort through a bunch of things in life right now and I am trying to organize how I feel about it all. Sel and I are big planners. We have a little get together every Sunday to plan almost every detail of the upcoming week. We plan every meal, every workout, every social event. We evaluate our spending from the last week and set budget goals for the upcoming week. We go over what chapters we will be covering in companionship study. We discuss what we didn’t do well this week and what we are going to consequently rock at this upcoming week. Why am I telling you all these boring details of our life? To illustrate the point that Sel and I are HUGE planners. We love having goals and plans and pretty little boxes that we can happily check off as completed. The problem is right now instead of a bunch of little boxes to cross off we have a big blank piece of paper with OUR FUTURE written at the top and a smattering of question marks filling the void.

We’ve been filing away that blank piece of paper for the past little while crossing our fingers that soon enough we would have a sentence or two to add to it. A sentence about where we will be living or where Sel will be going to medical school. Or a sentence about what I am planning on doing with the next four years of my life (ha, you’re right, we weren’t really crossing our fingers for that one cause I would erase it and rewrite it every sixty seconds). Well, this week I have to make a big girl decision and part of that decision entails me to look over our blank piece of paper and be able to predict what it will eventually say. My head is spinning “What If’s” and “How’s” and “Why was I born a muggle?”

I am not really sure how to make this decision with so many pieces missing. Don’t get me wrong. I am so very excited for whatever will show up on that blank paper of ours cause I am pretty sure it will be a whole bunch of fantastic things. The waiting though is so nerve racking. It makes me want to give a big goodbye kiss to the real world and tell it to find me again when it has some answers for me. I find myself daily saying “I just wish I knew!”

As I was saying that phrase a few times today while talking to Sel I realized something. At least the future doesn’t certainly hold bad things. That piece of paper doesn’t have “Gruesome Death by Dragon” splashed across it in permanent marker. Sure, it doesn’t not say that either, but at least it isn’t definite. I guess what I am trying desperately to convince myself is a good thing is that I can erase whatever we eventually put on our paper. Nothing about my life is written in stone per say (other than the fact that I most certainly will die at some point. Cheerful, no? The only thing anyone can really write on their Life Plan Paper is death. What a reliable pal death is in this world of ever changing variables). Everything feels so out of my control right now, which if I really think about it, is an excellent thing. Me in complete control would likely resemble something by Pollock. Just a bunch of life decision splotches that I think are the perfect shade and perfectly placed, but when I step back to look at the big picture, it just looks like a toddler got into the life paintbox. So world, I think I will just keep finger painting in my corner while you paint the rest of the room for me and please, don’t paint a dragon eating me up there. Or a giant spider. Or you know, the absence of anything gruesome would be pretty chill with me.

Little People in Hipster Glasses

Christmas this year was fantastic! I was a little sad that it was my first Christmas away from my side of the family, BUT my mom made sure to send 342 boxes of Christmas goodness to the Sel Family Home to ensure I wasn't too sad.

Here was likely my favorite present (with the exception of the 12 pairs of tights and trillions of pairs of mismatched socks that I got)

Yup, it's a pug puppy! Wait, false, it's a keyboard with which I can now get back into piano so I can compose songs about pugs...

This was Sel's favorite present. A "gun cabinet" aka an Ikea locker for all of his nerf weapons. Genius and amazing. Sel is WAY happy about this baby. See that gun in the left hand corner? It's called the Hailfire. It is both the best and worst thing to happen to me. Best because Sel is IN LOVE with this weapon probably more than any of his others. Worst because it can shoot 40 trillion bullets in two seconds and I am usually the target. Thank goodness Dwise was wise enough to get me one too so I can shoot Sel while he is in the shower like a helpless wet kitten. Revenge is very, very sweet my friends.

Instead of being the actors in the retelling of Christ's birth, we used this adorable Little People nativity DWise (Sel's Momma) got for her grandbabies/ her adult children to play with nonstop

Sadly Joy and Roy left shortly after dinner before the real fun started.  Hence why they nor my adorable nephew are in any of these. This is the beginning of the glasses games. What are the glasses games? Read on dear reader

The Sel Family tradition is to pick out a ridiculously hilarious and fun game to all play together on Christmas Eve. This year they broke out these babies. The point of the game is to look like a complete fool. Wait...nope, I just did that naturally I believe. These fun hipster glasses can have a variety of things attached to them and then you use your head motions to "win". This lovely one I am sucking at is getting that magnet red dangling thing to hit the bulls eye on the top part of that red paddle. Ask me if it was hard.

Kit getting a plastic dolphin to jump through the hoop attachment. Please admire her fantastic Christmas shirt. All of the Sel Family Ladies got one of these lookers. I. Am. In. Love with them. I know what I will be wearing to all future Ugly Sexy Christmas Sweater Parties. Also, notice Favorite Uncle Bern being the judge in his throne behind her.

Sel looking sexy as usual wearing the shirt I happen to pack for him anytime we go anywhere. I ask him to wear this shirt every single week because, um, HELLO talk about some rugged, lumberjack stud, am I right? Of course I am.

Bri doing the pig nose one. I think this one was easily the most difficult one. Also, check out Bri's grinch shirt which all of the Sel Family boys got with their Xmas Eve pj's.  Both parts creepy and fabulous



Here's one more of me failing to do it right.

After all of the fun game time, we decided to ask the piano master extradionare DWhiz (Sel's Poptart) to play ALL of the Christmas hymns. It was beautiful and perfect and happy (even if all of us had to sing whisper the last two because our voices were shot). It left me feeling that warm Christmas glow I crave every year. This was easily my favorite part of the whole holiday.
 Gracious! I am so blessed to not only have one family of hilarious, loving, amazing humans BUT TWO!



And just so you can finish reading this with a big fat smile on your face, here is my nephew being WAY too adorable to handle. Sel was the photographer who captured this Best Photograph of the Year.

Peace Out 2012

2012. Wow! What a year! It is crazy to think back to all that happened. It feels like it flew by. I must be getting old because time keeps going by faster and faster each year. Here are some of my favorite highlights from the year the world was supposed to end.

 * Ringing in 2012 in Ohio with my wonderful family and Sel

* My first Valentines day as a Mrs.

* St. Patrick’s Day Dinner w/ Pam & Disney

* Headstart

* Our unbelievably perfect summer road trip (Camping in Central City, Visiting old friends in Topeka, Spending time with my aunts in Chicago, Seeing the Pathology Museum in Indy, My baby sister’s high school graduation and grad party, Listening to Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter on our happy road trip, Biking around Mackinac Island, Going to Frankenmuth with Sel and my freaking amazing parents, Meeting Kit’s now hubby (Kat) and visiting our favorite uncle in Missouri, Going to the top of the Arch in St. Louis, and tying it all off with camping in one of the most Podunk towns in all America)

* Both Family Reunions

* Everything about Summer Semester 

* Peoples of India Class

* Sculpting

* Hiking back to the place we first kissed in honor of my 22^nd birthday

* Graduating from BYU!!!

* Our one year anniversary at the Melting Pot and Anniversary Inn (and the sweet anniversary gift Sel gave to me- I will never get over how lucky I am to have married my perfect match)

* Spending a week in SLC dog sitting

* Kit’s Wedding and seeing her and Kat have such a happy little married life

* Sel getting 3 medical school interviews after all his hard work

* Our freaking amazing trip to Philadelphia (Reading Terminal, Independence Hall, POE’s House, The Food! Oh gracious all that delicious food!, Sel doing really well at the interview with UPenn, Everything about this trip was better than I could have ever expected)

* Bri getting engaged to one of my newest favorite people on the planet

* Doing countless fun things with my blow-your-mind away amazing best friends

* Working full time for the past 5 months and feeling very secure about our financial future because of it 

* Melting Pot and seeing the Temple Square Christmas Lights with the Sel Family

* Spending Christmas Eve singing all the Christmas hymns with the Sel family (this one will be etched into my heart for a long time I believe)

* Hearing my mom and aunt scream with delight when they opened our Christmas gifts to them (tickets to Sherlock, ahem, I mean “Shrek the Musical”)

* New Years Eve with the Milks

* Cuddling with Sel 358 days of the year. Best memory for always.

Get ready for 2013! It seriously is going to be the best year ever. Here are some things I am REALLY looking forward to

Cind having her baby (happened shortly after I wrote this post!)

Lys in Ptown again

A secret I can't tell you about yet :) 

Finding out where we will be moving for the next four years

Sel graduating from BYU

Spending my 23^rd Birthday in Rome!!!

Our two week Euro Trip with Kit, Kat and D^2

Spending Christmas 2013 with my family in the Ukraine

My Dad: The Famous Author

My Dad forwarded me a talk he gave in church a few years back and I thought I would share some snippets here. Because, wow! my dad makes me sound like an amazing person and he is a very, very talented writer (not to mention teacher, speaker, person in general). He is also hilarious and so beautifully spiritual. The talk itself was about five pages of insightfulness, but I tried to only highlight my favorite parts (which still make it quite the long post, but believe me when I tell you it is a grand read)



My cute parents at my graduation dinner



My parents being extra cute and in love on Mackinac Island



My dad trying really hard to do a good smile ;)



Without much ado, here is a bit from this gem of a human being.

"My wife and I have now been married 23 years and have been blessed with the best two daughters a couple could ever hope for (that’s not to say that we have a “less than the best” son or two, or other daughters who aren’t quite up to par, we just have the two children, and they just happen to be the best).  Our oldest, Lauren, is living in Utah, going to that “Provo based university”, working in Salt Lake this summer while she prepares for her upcoming nuptials in August.  She also, “proud dad” is happy to report, just successfully completed her first marathon yesterday with her health intact, staying “upright” throughout the whole event ... but more about that later."

 Nothing quite as good as hearing that your parent is proud of you. Here is more of the talk. I forgot to mention his talk was on adversity.

Could one argue that if a family is having trouble with a child, that this is somehow a self imposed adversity because parents know that there might be adversity when it comes to their children, and they decided to have the child in the first place, thus it is self imposed?  Truly, that I don’t know nor would I ever care to judge, but I do know that herein lies the blessings of adversity because our children ultimately become our “prosperity” and, speaking for myself, at the very least, no matter what kind of heart ache or troubles that may arise in relationship to my children, the emotional scope between utter happiness to extreme sadness that I have learned from being a father is not something I can imagine learning without having this experience.  It certainly didn’t come from just being a child of a parent, that much is for sure.

Remember that I earlier mentioned that my daughter ran a marathon yesterday.  When she was 12, I took her running with me for the first time.  Up until that point in life, she really hadn’t done any distance running. (Um, try not really run at all cause I spent most of those young years sitting on the couch all day pretending I had friends and watching Lizzie McGuire)  For me, I like to run.  Though I know I don’t look like it, I can actually run fairly far and fairly well and wanted to share that with her.  That day, there was adversity in my life.  In fairness, it was mostly self-created as she was my daughter after all, and I did take her running, but what a blessing it has ultimately turned out to be too … On that first day, she really, really struggled and didn’t like me very much. (I sat down after running barely 1/4 of a mile and told him I hated him and running cause I was one heck of an angsty pre-teen) She screamed a lot at me (when she could catch her breath that is).

For you that don’t know, the secret to being able to run long distance is learning how to breathe.  One has to learn how to slow one’s breathing to the point of almost a regular breathing pattern.  The best runners can actually have full, normal conversations while they run because they have their breathing so controlled.  For her, the first day didn’t work out so well in that category, but she did keep after it, and eventually, she started to get it.  Over time, she started to run further and faster.  In junior high and high school, she ran cross country and track being quite successful in both.  Her sophomore year in high school, she qualified for state and was part of the 6^th placed team.  The next year, her team actually took state. She, however, wasn’t running that day as she had developed a different type of adversity during that season that could have caused her to never run again.  During the summer between seasons, unbeknownst to her or us, she had started to pass out when she ran.  At first, we thought she was just tripping, but her injuries were strange in that she never had injuries to her hands that one would have by trying to catch oneself.  The first time we knew she was actually passing out was at the end of a race when she crossed the finish line and in stride feel face first to the ground.  It was horrifying. (not to mention embarrasing, yet equally sexy)

We did all the doctor things, and it was discovered that crazily, the reason for it happening was quite innocuous.  She was literally healthy, her body just didn’t always keep her blood pressure up, and she would pass out, much like someone who locks their knees and passes out while singing in the choir.  As such, she could keep running if she wished, and she really did.  For the most part, she collapsed at the end of her races with me catching her as she did it, but more than a few times, she collapsed while she was in the middle of the course … one moment running, the next dead weight, no arms catching her, falling to the ground.  More than one person assumed she had died while running when they saw this happen. This was very, very scary, and for many, probably a good enough reason to give up running. Though it was awful for her at the time, she loved running and continued working on it. (because I had great parents, teammates, and coaches who encouraged me) Over the years, she has figured out how to know when she is starting to have issues and can control it much better.  She still does pass out at times, but not nearly as much, and that she could actually complete a marathon is almost a miracle … truly she has taken adversity to prosperity!

Ultimately, there are many kinds of adversity ... some are self created by not following God’s commandments, some by not being smart in one’s decisions, but many are just because life happens.

When my wife and I attended a funeral a few years ago of one of her beloved college professors, Dr. DK Barton, Elder Neal A. Maxwell, who was still with us then, stood up to speak and told us that when he had received the call from the Dr Barton’s son that his father had passed away, Elder Maxwell had enthusiastically responded, “That is great news!  Thank you so much for letting me know!”  He explained to us that though his response caught the son by surprise, it was great news because this man had been able to make it through this life, through all the adversity and was now able to go to the other side, prepared to meet God, and that we couldn’t hope for anything better for his friend.

We left heaven to become like Him.  As such, we need to act like Him while we are here if we want to be like Him later.  Adversity will come, there is no doubt about it.  The line between prosperity and adversity is thin. If we follow His commandments, much adversity, like the kind the congressman from New York is now experiencing can be avoided, but even if we avoid that self created type of adversity, it will still come.  Just remember, this life is God both giving us and allowing us to become more like Him.  If we can keep this in mind, life should have more meaning and not feel so daunting.  There use to be a common saying out that that said something like, “Life happens and then you die” ... well, let’s make sure we do our part that the “dying” thing isn’t the kind of premature thing that Elder Holland talked about. 

Wow! Am I right in how awesome my dad is? Answer: Yes. Very much so. Hope you liked a little sneak peak into the talented life of my other X-Chromosome donater.