My New Home

(This is a picture of Sel trying to get some sleep during his extensive studies. He actually had to chop off his other arm to get comfortable)

I am an official permanent resident of the Harold B. Lee Library. They mailed me a housing contract yesterday and a "thank you" note for helping them with publicity. Ever since I started living at the library, an abnormal amount of students have been seen here during the late hours of the night.

The following hours I was present at the library are the proof they used to prove my residency.

Friday: 4:00PM-12:00AM (8 hours)

Saturday: 1:00PM-7:30PM (6.5 hours)

Monday: 7:00PM-1:30AM (6.5 hours)

Tuesday: 12:00PM-12:30AM (12.5 hours)

Since I go to college, I know a thing or two. I know how to add. (Slowly lift your lower jaw from off the table and take a few breaths to get over the shock you just experienced)

My total time in the library over the span of four days = 33.5 hours

My total time spent at the place I am actually paying rent to live over those four days= 26 hours

26/4 = 6.5 hours (whoa that's right. I even know how to do division after taking three years of college courses) each day for sleeping and getting ready in the morning. And every once in awhile, eating or bathing (though these are both rare occurances at B-monty lately)

Though I haven't taken Stats yet, I am using a probability curve to estimate that my time in the library will increase by 10% the week of finals. My bathing will decrease by 22%. Eating will decrease by 34%. Sleeping will decrease by 98%. Sanity will decrease by 100%. Hatred for school will, however, experience a 100% increase.

Just to let the world know. I have officially completed my massive research report. Since I have spent an exorbitant amount of time on it these past few days

, I simply need to talk about it so my brain can kiss this topic goodbye.

My research questions was: "What is the Validity of Using the Head-Up Tilt Table Test in Diagnosing Vasovagal Syncope"

You would think since I have vasovagal that I would know a lot about it. You would sadly be mistaken. When I was first diagnosed with it, I was pretty sure it was a made up disorder by doctor's who had no idea what was wrong with the patient.

37 Medical journals, 24 pages of analyzing research, a pointless oral presentation on my findings and billions of hours of my life I will never get back later and I have come to a much different conclusion.

Vasovagal syncope is a made up disorder by doctor's who have no idea that the patient in question has such a complex and highly sophisticated brain that it experiences shortages every once in awhile to cope with it's superiority to other brains.

Yes, this was the conclusion I used to answer my research question. Yes, I am certain I will get an A. Yes, I really wish I was serious.

Here is a special sneak peak of my surely thrilling paper. I plan to have a poster of this mounted above my bed so I can admire this truly remarkable image.