How to Reduce Your Chances of Being a Sociopath

21 days until I marry the most wonderful man on the face of the planet. I still struggle to realize this is really happening. It isn’t some amazing dream I am sure to wake up from. Getting married in general is a bit much to process, but I don’t know if I will ever be able to fully comprehend that I really am marrying the most amazing, nearly perfect man in the universe (Please note the upgrade from planet to universe). It is impossible to describe how remarkable Sel truly is. I have never been astoundingly gifted grammatically nor in being able to fully express my emotions. I think this is why the term love is such a genius invention. Somehow in using this four letter word, people can relate or interpret the many words that are associated with it. Love somehow explains why I still catch my breath when I first see his face or get butterflies even thinking about him. It explains why I feel like a robot until I see him-I go through the motions only capable of having elementary feelings. It explains why I am incapable of doing anything else but staring anxiously at my phone, fighting with the worst case scenario thoughts trying to enter my head while he is driving home. Love somehow explains why I now cry when I have to say goodbye to him. It explains why I smile like a crazy person thinking about him. It explains why I feel as if this is somehow my first year of life-that I am discovering the world around me wasn’t what I thought it was before. Love explains why I can somehow forget there are other people in the world and at the same time become more aware and grateful for my family, friends, strangers, homeless people who call me sweetbottom. It explains why the dreams of the future I had before him seem so small, so meaningless-how did I ever expect to be truly happy or successful or at peace without him? Without his steadying arms and constant encouragement? Without his perfect laughter or cheerful smile? Without his unwavering selflessness or overwhelming kindness? Without his little boy smile or unshakable testimony? Without his undeniable brilliance and admirable dedication? Without his love?
I am so undeserving of him. Of his love. “Our song” for the wedding is “I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You” by Savage Garden. I really do feel as if I knew Sel before I met him. As if my whole life before him was just a preparation or waiting stage until I finally got to see him again. The best part of finally finding him again, is I never, ever have to say goodbye again. I get to keep him for eternity. Three weeks everyone until the party of the century happens.

* I know this has been mushy, but just suck it up. Watching chick flicks and reading sappy blog posts helps integrate you into society and reduce your potential of becoming a sociopath. Or looking like a fool cause you’ve never heard , watched, or made fun of “The Notebook”.

Here is the song I wrote for Sel. Savage Garden stole it from me when I was a helpless eight-year-old girl.

Maybe it's intuition

But some things you just don't question

Like in your eyes

I see my future in an instant

and there it goesI think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason

only this sense of completion

and in your eyes

I see the missing pieces

I'm searching forI think

I found my way home

I know that it might sound more thana little crazy but I believe

(Chorus)
A thousand angels dance around youI am complete now that I found you