Declarations of a King: It's a GIRL!

So surprise! I'm pregnant! WITH A FEMALE!

I am still in shock over here about it all. I've been pretty convinced it was a boy with the small exception of two dreams it was a girl. I am slightly terrified. I know personality of the child determines more of who they actually are than gender, buuuut I'm still scared. I was such a miserable pre-teen/teenager. Whenever my parents said, "I hope you have a kid JUST like you someday" I vowed to have a boatload of boys who obviously couldn't be JUST like me. Now that wish from the past might make an appearance in this sweet little girl.

I was mostly sweet when I was little, but then puberty hit and I became a hot mess of door-slamming, sibling-slapping, and parent-hating. Please take back your wishes parents so that this little one can be sweet all the way through those pre-teen years.

Sel is really excited! Which I find undeniably adorable. He wanted it to be a she and obviously made the correct chromosome happen. Good work dad! It was a big contrast this time to last time which could likely be attributed to multiple factors. When I found out Rowan was a boy, I couldn't even handle how happy I was. I burst into tears of delight and floated around in happy baby boy land for the next 24 weeks. This time around, Sel couldn't come (BIG sad face there), but luckily my amazingly sweet sister came up. I was also sick and Rowan was miserable too after his nap. He cried all the way up until he heard baby sister's heartbeat and saw her bouncing off those uterine walls. This girl is a MOVER! Rowan rolled a bit and stretched plenty during his, but she was having her own little dance party in there. I've been able to feel her move for a while now, so I was zero percent surprised to see it confirmed that she just can't contain how happy she is to dance like her big bro. She was very modest in hiding her girl parts at first, but once the tech tagged her as a she, she went ahead and proved the tech was right on point. I cannot wait to see what she looks like and what kind of fun personality she is going to have! Blonde and blue-eyed like Rowan or dark and green-eyed like me? Or a crazy combo of those both? Making babies is the best ;) She already looks a little different than Rowan. Their noses are slightly different and her head shape is for sure different. You might be thinking I can't actually tell, but believe me, I studied Rowan's ultrasound pic EVERY SINGLE DAY for 6 months. I know it by heart .I can't stop looking at this little beauty either and know I will obsess over it just like I did with him.

She was also being oh so girly and putting her hands under her chin as if she was posing for a picture. Rowan spent his first gender debut grabbing his boy parts with one and throwing the other hand in the air like he just don't care.

Posing for her face shot

Speaking of Row, he called her from the beginning. I've been getting him to slap one hand or the other indicating left is baby sister or right is baby brother and vice-versa. Even when mixing what hand I am putting forward first or switching which one is which, Rowan has consistently picked baby sister. He also picked out a baby doll the other day at the store from a bin of baby boy dolls and picked the only baby girl doll. He LOVES his baby doll and carries her around while hugging her. He's going to be an adorable big brother.

I am going to post the little entries I've been saving during this pregnancy (for all those avid blog readers of mine), but for those who don't want to read a novel, here is the first post about our little lady.

I'm not going to post this for awhile, but WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!

Long little legs!

Yay! I am not really sure how far along I am at this point. My first period in the last two years (and my last for the next year! Huzzah!) was August 26th. Once I was late, I took four pregnancy tests over four days and they were all negative. After 12 days of no Miss Flow, I assumed my period was going to be AWOL while I adjusted to a normal cycle again. Since I had dismissed being pregnant early, I didn't consider it a possibility after those first few days. It would appear this time around everyone knew I was pregnant before I did.

Sunday Oct 4th: Someone at church congratulates me on my pregnancy. I try not to angrily inform them we are not expecting, thanks. A woman at the grocery store the day before had done the same thing. I then vent to Sel after church about how I apparently I look pregnant enough to openly comment on it even though I am actually just chubby.

Monday Oct 5th: I decided to get in the bath with Rowan since I was covered in the dinner he opted not to eat. As I was getting undressed, Row pointed to me and signed baby. I scanned the bathroom for anything that would inspire him to sign baby. He normally doesn't sign anything without a reason, but I figured maybe he was thinking about our neighbor's new baby we had seen the day before. When I told Sel about it, he commented how crazy it would be if I was pregnant and Rowan somehow knew before we did. I told him we very much were not pregnant thanks to my four negative pregnancy tests. That night I got the following Fbook message from a friend I haven't talked to in years.

"Lauren! I know it's been forever but I had a dream last night and you were in it. Long story short we were both pregnant and had the same baby doctor and we had to go through all these obstacles in order to get yo our appointments. It was weird but it reminded me you still exist and I though I would tell you this weird story and say that you are awesome and that I may or may not stalk you on Insta and be in love with your little boy. Let's just say he is adorable"

Obviously, she's the best and I really ought to have been talking to her more over the past few years. The oddity of all references to me being pregnant inspired me to take a test the next morning just to prove to everyone we were for sure not pregnant.

Tuesday Oct 6th: As I am taking the pregnancy test, I say out loud "Rowan is crazy". I then start to see that second line appear and stare dumbfounded at proof my child is clairvoyant. Rowan was babbling excitedly in his crib and I couldn't move. I quickly took two other tests only to see that strong second line pop up again. I ran into Row's room, spun him around (while he pushed furiously against my chest in an attempt to rescue the binkies he threw out of his crib) and asked him how he knew Mommy had a baby in her belly.

When I found out we were expecting Row, I told Sel right away. He was showering upstairs and I snuck in to put the test on the counter for him. Before I could smoothly exit, he had popped his head around the curtain to ask if it was positive or not (he knew I was taking the test since I was late). I felt gypped of what surely would have been an emotionally exciting moment. Not this time around, right? I had inherited a shirt from a friend that says "Big Brothers Rule" and planned to adorn Row in it whenever the time came. After Sel got off work, I told him to meet us at the park. I put Row in the shirt , addressed an envelope to Sel from his second child with the pregnancy test inside (my, ahem, fifth of the day) and excitedly waited for his ecstatic reaction. He didn't notice Row's shirt at all. He never does and I obviously should have taken that into account. After awhile passed without comment, I handed him the envelope. "No way!" and a big smile was still better than a shampooed head casually asking whether our whole lives were about to change or not.

Once I found out we were expecting, so many things made sense. Rowan has been demanding to nurse allll day and night. I obviously am having a reduction in my milk supply and it has made Row unbearably upset. Last night he woke up FIVE times and I thought I was going to die. The worst is that I get my most nauseous when he nurses in the middle of the night and some bad cramping.

I also had weirdly almost thrown up Pumpkin Pie ice-cream from DQ a few weeks ago. Sel was convinced it was food poisoning even though I almost threw up only a few minutes after eating it. I also had gone to bed a week earlier with a horrible migraine, something I never really deal with.

I was petrified of losing Rowan. I had crippling fear that plagued me in nightmares and constant worry during the day. This time around feels different. I do trust that if we lost the baby, it would be according to Heavenly Father's plan. However, I honestly have a feeling that I want to trust and believe in. I feel like we will most assuredly be keeping and welcoming this little one to our home in June! I am elated and a little bit scared about the changes ahead for us even though this is exactly what I wanted. I am unbelievably grateful for the opportunity to have conceived again with such ease. I feel blessed to have Rowan to keep me distracted from my own thoughts and to generally make my heart burst with love and adoration for. I also CANNOT wait for Oct. 30th. Come on and get here!