Anthropology: The Study of Primordial Beasts

Note: Post title was chosen from a student's response from last semester. Contrary to popular belief, Anthropology is not the study of primordial beasts ;)

Most people I know have at least one negative thing to say about their job. For me, I spend most of my time wishing my main responsibility in life was being an Anthropology TA. If you really wanted me to chose something I dislike, it would be grading papers. Wait, I mean putting off grading papers until the night before my last lecture. Last night I spent a good six hours finishing up grading and wanted to show the world my accomplishments. After many failed attempts to take the perfect picture to illustrate my pain, I ended up putting my weary head down on my mountain of papers only to be disturbed by a flash a few moments later. Turns out I turned on the "take two" option and BAM goal accomplished.

Let me break down for you why my job is pretty much the best.

1. Dr. Crandall. Wears sweater vests everyday. He speaks in a faux British accent. He makes students feel uncomfortable as he asks questions about their "attachments, origins, and aspirations" when they volunteer to say the prayer. Spanks, punishes, and gives birthing massages to students depending on the lecture. Provides ample quotes of hilarity. Gets to go to Africa almost every year to visit the Himba (I want to go SO bad).Uses his sarcasm and higher intellect to poke a little bit of fun at innocent, unknowing students.

Here is a tiny sample of Dr. Crandall quotes from this semester (these are taken from lectures where you pretty much just had to be there to fully appreciate them):

"For some reason, people all over the world are attracted to stories of big bags of potatoes winning British Idol"

"It was like a 1960's sex bash. Willey Nilley, it was a great time."

"The breasts of a woman are the sweet meats for American men to derive pleasure from"

2. My Students: My section this semester is phenomenal. I have been blessed to always have great sections, but this one really raised the bar for future victims of my lecturing. They contribute to discussions. They write interesting papers. They say things in their papers that make me laugh. They turn things in on time and put effort into doing well. They chose YouTube videos that enhance my life with laughter and are excellent and applying it somehow, someway to Anthropology. My new favorite aspect of this section is the response I got to a joke about attaching chocolate to their most recent eight page paper in order to get full credit. I received a Lindt Bar, a Reese's, a Hershey bar, and a packet of M&M's. Needless to say, they have become the highest honored section in the TA hall of fame.

Favorite quotes from this semester' social-cultural students:

"I have received social sanctions from adults at church before in regard to having long hair. It is of course a big misunderstanding because Jesus had long hair and I was just trying to be like Him"

"Although Dr. Crandall seems to disregard the scientific method..."

"I got out of the Harmless People that being a Bushman would really, really, suck"

"Himba women give birth in Africa. That is pretty unique. Bet no one in here has done that"

"Some American traditions may seem wrong or savage to the Ilongot head hunters, such as pre-marital sex."

"If everyone were wholly feminine, the world would be very static with very little progress and nothing would get accomplished"

Aw! I am going to miss them. Today, as previously mentioned, was my last lecture with them. I brought bagels and they brought on the intellectual discussion about healthcare systems and the government freeze. I know it is an overly cliche saying, but my students ALWAYS teach me more than I could ever dream of teaching them. Not a single student said anything negative in my evaluations today which probably means the bagel tactic of putting them in a good mood worked. Bit of advice for anyone who cares: If you give free food to people, they will automatically like you better despite your shortcomings. This is a fail proof way to get people to say nice things about you so you don't get fired-unless of course you are giving free food to an anorexic.

To understand a bit more about what they endured, here are some of the topics we discussed in my class.

Incest

Cross-cousin marriage

Vampires

Haitian Zombies

Kinship in Soap Operas

Polyandry/Polygamy

Auto Cannibalism

Infanticide

I could easily explain how each of the seemingly non-academic topics relate to anthropology, but instead I am going to encourage you to take a class yourself. :) I will find it astounding if you regret it. You might even get free food out of it if you do!