Won't That be Fun in the Bathtub

I need to briefly talk about someone I love dearly. If I were to describe this woman in one word it would be Charitable. I have never met a person more willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING for ANYONE. Even the crazy crack addict neighbors who let their pit bulls roam this senior citizen's backyard. This is the woman I am talking about...

Just so you can try and appreciate a bit about my grandma, here are some facts about her.

1. My grandma is notorious for making things called "Candy Cups" for every family get together. She spends copious amounts of time buying all forms of small cup like containers to fill with all sorts of delicious candy.

2. She sends out cards for every single holiday to everyone she knows. I can generally expect a card every month from her. I recently received a Happy Saint Patrick's Day card and will undoubtedly get a Happy Easter card in a few weeks.

3. My beyond sweet grandma also happens to be racist. She is the most politically incorrect being I interact with, but she loves everyone despite what her choice vocabulary may sometimes imply.

4. She wakes up two or three hours before the sun does

5. She is a hard core chocolate addict. Current Fridge Contents: Old cheese, ketchup, relish, 2 pounds of chocolate, cupcakes, and chocolate covered pretzels. My grandma swears by eating a bit of chocolate every single day. This is by far the most appealing advice I have ever received

6. Grams is one heck of a tough cookie. She refuses to let anyone do anything for her. She once fell out of a tree breaking both of her legs and then belly crawled into the house to politely ask my grandfather if he was too busy to drive her to the hospital.

7. She makes the tastiest food in the entire world. Eating at my grandma's house was my childhood. I could easily take in a three pounds of rolls, green bean casserole, funeral potatoes and Wanda cookies in one sitting. Hence why I resembled the Pillsbury dough boy for a significant portion of my adolescence...

8. My grandma was and continues to be a babe. She was proposed to five times before my perfect grandfather finally won her fair heart. After my grandpa passed away, some of Utah's finest senior bachelors attempted to woo my lovely grandmother by taking her on Jazzi rides on the town and bringing her craisins.

9. My grandma is hilarious. She is famous for her some of the comments she makes. My new favorite is in relation to the color of my soon to be cousin's wedding dress. When my aunt told my grams Ky's dress is cream, my grandma was distraught. She asked my aunt if she was afraid that the whole neighborhood was going to be talking about whether Ky was a hooker or not because she wasn't wearing a white dress:)

10. My grandma (as hinted at earlier) LOVES holidays. She decks out her entire lawn and front room for nearly every holiday with "whirly gigs" and lawn ornaments. She also has a concrete goose equipped with every holiday outfit you could ever imagine a concrete goose could want. My grams likes to share her lawn ornament passion by giving them to her family members as gifts. Below is a picture of my gorgeous cuz and I holding my uncle's brand spankin new lawn birds. My other favorite gift to my now 56-year-old uncle: A wind up scuba diver bath toy.

Go ahead. Be jealous you don't have a grandma like mine. Wait, she would probably adopt you anyway. Go ahead and celebrate the existence of CANDY CUPS!