I have a roommate who has contracted insomnia this semester. You might be saying to yourself, "Insomnia is not a communicable disease." Well, since I am the one with the Ph.D I am going to have to disagree with you. Current studies have shown when one patient who sleeps in the same room has insomnia, the other roommate will undoubtedly contract it also. This is due to the high blood pressure rises caused when the previously undiagnosed roommate fails consistently despite her desperate efforts to not wake her Ambien medicated zombie roommate. The studies have indicated those insomniacs who wake up when anyone breathes within a 2 mile radius will sit straight up, check their phone and then spread their insomnia to their unsuspecting roommate.
Moving on from the lengthy reason for why I am still awake despite my intense desire to be sleeping.
This was a physics problem I did today that has changed my life
"Suppose we are on our way to Proxima Centauri, which is 4.2 ly away. We are in a space ship traveling at 0.99689c. When we are half-way there, we send a signal to both the earth and Proxima Centauri. In the reference frame of the earth and Proxima Centauri, both signals travel 2.1 ly and thus arrive at their destinations at the same time. (a) In our reference frame, how long does it take for the signal to reach earth? Remember that in our reference frame, the distance between earth and Proxima Centauri is less than 4.2 ly due to length contraction."
The Answer: Justification for my complete lack of productivity this week.
My new best friend Scott The Physics TA who stayed an hour past his shift to help Sel and I, explained how this works to me.
Scott: Dear L, please list for me all the things you did this week that were ridiculously fun, though unproductive.
L: I tried on wedding dresses on Wednesday for two hours with D
I drove Broadway Rose to her rehearsal instead of going to English
I went out to frozen yogurt with Son of Anders instead of doing physics homework
I slept for longer than five hours a night when I really didn't have time to do so
I went to Zumba Tone when I should have been writing my super duper exciting English paper on medical thermometers.
I had a pizza party with my roommates and other amazing people instead of reading my physics chapter
I ate green spaghetti tonight with some people I love to celebrate St. Patrick's Day
I cleaned our kitchen, bathroom and living room to avoid doing my Biomechanics homework
I found my wedding dress with Kit today
Scott: What?! Tell me you have a picture.
Me: Eat your heart out Scotty Boy
Beautiful, right? It is perfect because I have four slaves (bridesmaids) to hold it up. The boutique was having a St. Patrick's Day special. I could keep as many leprachuans as I could fit under my dress.
Me: Oh yeah. Last thing. My ward, as the entire world already knows, is the best there ever was. I came home from Zumba in the pouring rain only to find some fantastic friends of mine having a slip in slide on the front lawn. I decided to do it instead of grading my mountain of papers.
Sel being "invisible" and my proof that I did the slip and slide (more like the run and land flat on your face in the mud)
Scott: Well L and Sel. Actually Sel, you look like a motivated, intelligent, organized, logical, and attractive student. You don't really need this answer to justify your actions. L, the best part of relativity is the frame of reference. The earth in this situation has a different frame of reference than the space ship. This means that whatever you did in your frame of reference was actually beneficial to your life. You are going to ace not only this class, but all of your other classes. You are going to buy that beautiful wedding dress tomorrow and love it. You are going to be named world's most astounding physicist, philosopher, and politician (The P-Cubed Award).
Scott, Sel and I are probably going to be getting spicy nugs and some Michael Jackson's every Tuesday and Thursday from now on to celebrate our many achievements in our frame of reference.
Shout out to my good friend Albert for all the fun ideas I have been learning about. Miss you buddy!
L
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